8 Struggles Of Wanting To Be A Small Town Girl In A World Idealized By Big Dreams And Big Cities

Every movie vignette and aspirational blog and typical twentysomething success story seems to start the same way: move to a big city, find a job in editorial (ever notice how all the protagonists of rom coms are magazine editors?) carry on with your haphazard approach to dating until you rather literally stumble into happily ever after. It's a fine picture to paint, especially for those who feel it's more their reality (or they'd like it to be), but there's a sub-genre of aspiration that's all too frequently left out, in light of how common it is: the girls who want a small town life.

These are the girls who care about being cozy and homey and around the people they love. Who love what they do, but certainly don't live to work. Who care more about being outside that they do chassé-ing through the balmy air between cement walls and skyscrapers. They're the ones who love outdoor concerts and all the simple pleasures of life, all the things that are so vastly underrated, and so completely misunderstood. Here are all the struggles of wanting to be a small town girl in a world that only idealized big dreams and bigger cities:

Nobody Understands Why You'd Want To Live "In The Middle Of Nowhere"

But just because it's not saturated at human capacity, that doesn't mean it's "the middle of nowhere." Aside from that, it's relaxing, grounding, and connective. You're a little inclined to believe that people who can't be in quiet, or alone, or in a less-sensory-engaging environment aren't always just ambitious, but often running from something within themselves.

You Know There Is Nothing Like A Small Town Diner

Or New England leaves in the fall. There's something about the quietness and quaintness and beauty of rolling hills and trees and mom and pop shops and a generally more laid back way of life, you think of it like you're just living on vacation, and everyone else is missing out.

Everybody Assumes You're Completely Isolated, But The Opposite Is True

For better and for worse, you know everyone. You talk to your neighbors at the supermarket on Sunday, a lot of people bond over religious meetings each week, you go to the same classes, and you're never at a loss for friendship, if you want it. It's funny: people assume you're in the "middle of nowhere," yet people tend to be more connected than they are in big cities.

There Are, Admittedly, Less Opportunities Available Career-Wise

And even though you can commute to a neighboring city or even telecommute, nowadays, you can't completely disregard the fact that you don't have the chances that some of your peers may have sheerly out of proximity. But that's something you have to learn to accept in exchange for what matters to you most.

The Dating Pool Is Scarce

Apps like Tinder and the like are an extremely welcome relief, yet at the same time, you can't help but wonder what it would be like to have hundreds if not thousands of potential partners at your disposal (literally).

People Have A Lot Of Intense Stigmas About Small Towns

Mostly that they're kind of boring and not incredibly classy, but you know that is certainly not the case. I've seen people have much more fun at a bonfire with their best friends and family than at a swank party in New York City. I've seen luxury mountain homes that could eat the average city-goer's rental for lunch. It's really not that one place is better than the other, just that there is a bias toward urban being "better" for a specific set of reasons that are just as true anywhere else.

You Do, Honestly, Wonder And Worry That You May Be Missing Out

Would you be happier with less space but a better job? Would you be happier if you had different friends and a larger dating pool? Who knows. You may not, I may not, and honestly, we all have to come to terms with the sister lives that we didn't choose. It's just that this always seems a little harder to swallow, as opposed to the socially acceptable version of "chasing your dreams."

People Use The "Simplistic" And "Quaint" Lifestyle As An Aesthetic, And It's Frustrating As All Hell

The reality is that these things are not appearances — they are, for the lack of a better word, practices. It's culture. It feels like a part of your personality at this point. You don't do these things to be able to tweet and blog about them, it's because they are your actual mode of living, not just an idea you adopt because it's on trend.

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