Toys For Cats Who Think They're People

by Eliza Castile

Does your cat ignore you for hours until you open up your laptop, after which he suddenly decides he wants to purr in your lap in an effort to distract you from the vitally important mission of Facebook stalking your ex? With SuckUK's laptop scratching post, your troubles might finally be over — well, the cat-related ones at least. You're on your own for the others.

SuckUK's cardboard laptop scratching post is designed to look like a laptop, presumably in the hopes that your cat will be fooled by the decoy and spend their time staring at the unmoving cardboard screen instead of blocking your view of Netflix. After all, as much as we all love petting cats all day, erry day, sometimes even the most devoted of cat loves just wants to rewatch the new season of Orange Is the New Black in peace. Ruby Rose's shower scene just isn't the same when it's partially obscured by a fluffy, orange tail.

In addition to being perfect for Take Your Cat To Work Day, which technically doesn't exist but totally should, the "laptop" serves as an outlet for all Fluffy's scratching-related needs. Plus, it's freakin' adorable. What's not to love?

May I draw your attention to the computer mouse that's a literal mouse? You can buy the laptop here — unless I found the money to buy out their entire stock, in which case you'll be out of luck, because I will own them all.

Scratching does serve an actual purpose for cats, by the way; several, even: They use it to remove dead skin, mark their territory, and stretch their paws. Unfortunately, though, this stretchy kitty yoga frequently involves tearing up nearby objects. While that was OK when your apartment was furnished with a card table, IKEA futon, and two cushions you stole from your parents' house when they weren't looking, all the scratching is significantly less cute when it could ruin a $300 couch.

So, to recap: The scratching post laptop is good for your cat, your furniture, and your emotional health, because watching cats pretend to use people objects is inexplicably entertaining. I don't know what it is about cats wearing suits or having an existential crisis while staring out a window, but it's so flippin' cute.

In fact, let's take a look at some other toys that make cats look like they're doing human activities. As with everything vaguely cat-related, the Internet delivers in spades.

1. Airplane Cat House

Uncommon Goods' airplane cat house is perfect for all the cats who dream of one day becoming pilots, even in the face of rampant feline discrimination.

2. Cat DJ Scratching Post Deck

SuckUK, you've done it again! This scratching post is designed to make it look like your cat is dropping some beats in your local club, aka the spot behind your old prom dress in your closet that he thinks you don't know about.

3. Mini Cat Bedroom

If your cat is nearing their teenage years, it might be time to give them some space. In fact, why not give them an entire mini bedroom?

4. Indiana Jones Cat Bridge

It's not exactly an everyday object for most humans, but who would pass up the opportunity to lay around on an Indiana Jones-style bridge?

5. Cat Log Cabin

SuckUK is back for one more appearance. As part of their Cat Playhouse series, they created a cat cabin that's perfect for when you take your cat camping. (Please don't actually do that.)

6. Cat Hammock

Cat hammocks are ideal for lazy cats and their equally lazy owners, i.e., all of us.

Image: Giphy