One of the fun things about living in a global society is that we have a ton of data at our fingertips that allows us to compare our habits with those of people living all over the world. Not that it's a competition or anything; it's just sort of interesting. Case in point: TIME's nifty “Find Out What Country You Drink Like” interactive. Because I'm apparently writing almost exclusively about booze today, naturally I had to take a look — it's Friday, after all! So, here. Allow me to use myself as a guinea pig for your reading pleasure. Judge away — but then also maybe give it a shot yourself. We're all in this together, right?
Using data gathered by several recent studies — one published in PLOS One that looked at global drinking habits of fruit juice, milk, and “sugar sweetened beverages” like soda, and the 2014 World Health Organization report detailing global alcohol consumption habits — TIME put together this neat-o engine that lets you see how your drinking habits measure up in comparison with the rest of world for each of five different categories: Beer, wine, liquor, milk, soda, and fruit juice. It's actually a revision of an interactive released in 2014; the fruit juice, milk, and soda categories are new, but (I would argue) no less important than the boozy ones. More so, perhaps, given the recent controversy over juice.
Yes, Juno, I know you don't care. It's fine. You do you.
I'll be honest, though: I actually had a pretty hard time estimating my weekly booze usage, mostly because I don't really have any set habits. Sometimes, I'll drink nothing but water and coffee all week; other times, I might have a glass of wine or a beer with dinner most nights (and maybe an extra glass or two on the weekend). Furthermore, although I don't “go out” in the bar-hopping sense all that often anymore (what can I say? I'm old), occasionally I still do — in which case my numbers for any given week will get quite a boost. Tonight, for example, I have big plans to go play laser tag and drink a lot of beer.
(I'm definitely living my best life.)
The upshot of all this is that I had to average out roughly how much I drink and spread it out over the week accordingly. Also, milk? Milk is tough, because how much of it do you actually end up drinking when you put it in your cereal or your coffee every day? But hey, at least the soda and juice options were easy — they're both typically at zero for me, except on incredibly rare occasions.
Here's how I scored:
I Drink Beer…
Like someone from Singapore if I'm being conservative:
And like someone from Macedonia if I'm having a rare social week:
I Drink Wine…
Like a Bulgarian, again if I'm being conservative:
And like a Luxembourger if I'm getting my drink on a little more:
Of course, that's assuming that I know how to pour a glass of wine in the first place. Like most of us, I just eyeball it, because who the heck has the time or patience to measure out six precise ounces?
I Drink Liquor…
Very rarely, like an Argentinian:
I love a good cocktail, but I typically only get them when I'm somewhere I know they'll be really dang good. That probably means I'm out to dinner with my parents — which, given that they live on the other side of the country, doesn't happen all that often. I'm up for suggestions about what to do with the comically large bottle of vodka I was recently given as a gift, though. Thoughts?
I Drink Milk…
Maybe, kind of, sort of like an Israeli:
Or at least, that's what I assume is roughly what I take in my cereal and warm beverages. I get my dairy in other ways most of the time (cheese and yogurt, mostly) — but of course, the other question to consider is this: Did I bake cookies recently? If yes, you'd better believe I'm having a glass of milk with each one.
I Drink Soda…
Like someone from China:
That is, not at all (or so rarely that I can usually count the number of times I've had soda each month on one hand).
I Drink Juice…
Like an Eritrean:
Fruit? Love it. Juice? Not so much, but science has my back on that one — juice is unexpectedly sugary, and most of the nutrients in fruit are found in things like the peels and skin anyway.
So there you have it. What countries do you drink like? Head on over to TIME to find out!