I was introduced to Monty Python, Mel Brooks, and Saturday Night Live at a very young age by my parents, so adult humor was something that I've always been accustomed to. Even though I was probably laughing more at the silly characters and fart sounds than I was at sexual innuendos or political satire, I certainly absorbed a lot more than my friends, who were strictly Disney kids. However, as I've learned in my many years on this Earth as a pop culture fiend, kids' movies are not void of dirty jokes and drug references. In fact, there are a lot of dirty jokes in children's movies that don't have that Disney label on them.
The dirty Disney jokes have been tweeted and GIF-ified plenty over the years. But it's the non-Disney kid films that actually have some of the most overt adult jokes out there. And I'm not just talking about grown-up stuff like taxes and the pain of finding parking ... I mean stuff like sex, drugs, and the U.S. financial crisis of 2008. Screenwriters of children's movies know what they're doing when they throw in those gags. If parents have to take their kids to see loud movies over and over again, they might as well get a few good laughs out of it too, in the comfort of their own adult brains, right?
Here are some of the filthiest and way-over-kid-brain jokes out there, outside of the realm of Disney.
1. "He's Compensating For Something" in Shrek
He's referring to Farquaad's penis, everyone.
2. A Hidden Dirty Word In Madagascar
You know that scene in A Christmas Story where Ralphie says, "Oh fudge," except he didn't say, "fudge?" Sugar Honey Iced Tea = SH*T.
3. The Swimmer That Started It All In Osmosis Jones
In a movie about what happens inside of your body ... well, this joke makes a lot of sense now that I'm 28.
4. The Questionable Misunderstanding In Monster House
Uvula! Get it? GET IT?
5. The Baby-Making Reference In Robots
I do love a good double entendre.
6. The Penguin Kama Sutra In Happy Feet
I really want to know what the "I'm sorry" is in reference to during their super sexual stumble.
7. Penis Envy in Ice Age
Manny drops this icy slam to the tapirs: "If my trunk was that small, I wouldn't call attention to myself, pal."
8. The "Green" Reference in Puss In Boots
Oh, that "catnip" is for your "Glaucoma," you say? HMMMMMM!?
9. This Down Under Moment In The Road to El Dorado
They were not just smooching, I can tell you that much.
10. This Super Uncool Castration Joke in Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Enter Buck with the horrifying line, “Let me tell you about the time I used a sharpened clam shell to turn a T-Rex into a T-Rachel.”
11. The Grossest Scene Between A Man & His Cartoon Mirror in Shrek ... Again
Why do you think the mirror looks so disgusted when he asks to see Fiona again? YUCKYYYYY. To add insult to injury, the bearskin rug is made of the bears from the beginning of the movie! And you wonder why his name sounds so similar to f*ckwad.
Sorry for ruining your childhood, everyone! Now back to your regularly-scheduled day.
Images: Dreamworks, Warner Bros., Twentieth Century Fox (2), Universal Pictures, Giphy