6 Weird Christina Aguilera Lyrics, Including Some Words From "Woohoo" That Will Make You Cringe
Christina Aguilera has reinvented herself countless times since she first came on the scene with her Star Search performance in 1990. Between her seven studio albums, Aguilera has had some of the most successful pop songs ever — will you ever forget when you saw her perform "Dirrty" for the first time? She makes a lot of bold moves, and her lyrics can be empowering and inspiring, but sometimes, Christina Aguilera's lyrics can also get a little weird. They can't all be hits. For every "Genie In A Bottle," there's also a "Woohoo" (which makes this list of strange lyrics, don't worry).
Aguilera's weirdest lyrics come from songs on her album Bionic, which she released in 2010. It was her most experimental effort, that's for sure, using a lot of electronic sounds, and it was billed as "futurepop." It didn't do so hot, maybe because so many of the lyrics are just so cringe-inducing.
The 34-year-old has bounced back, of course, and she's still in the spotlight, so I hope she doesn't mind me exposing some of her stranger stuff. No matter what, X-Tina, you're an icon! I hope you, too, can look back with good humor and laugh at these six weird song lyrics of yours.
1. "I Hate Boys" From Bionic (2010)
The lyrics: "No I'm not bitter, I'm not mad/ Well maybe just a little, just a tad" and "They’re only good for fruit, I mean bananas / Them boys so nuts, they’re drivin’ me bananas."
Don't get me wrong, I like any song from a pop star that encourages young girls to express ridicule of boys, but this song is just weird, and it feels too tween-bop for Aguilera. And the lyrics are just really dang annoying. Rhyming "bananas" with more "bananas?" Come on, that's just lazy writing. You only get one chance to write a song called "I Hate Boys," so you better make it count.
2. "Vanity" From Bionic (2010)
The lyrics: "Thank you mommy and daddy/ 'cause I turn myself on, yeah."
Ummm... OK. This just isn't a sentence I was prepared to hear. I get it. In the song, Christina is feelin' herself, but I don't know why she had to bring her parents into it.
3. "Still Dirrty" From Back To Basics (2006)
The lyrics: "'Cause I still got that nasty in me/ Still got that dirty degree"
Just a completely unnecessary track on her album Back To Basics in 2006. Her message is good, that she's still the same underneath even though she changed her image, but girl, you don't have to justify yourself. "Still got that dirty degree" strikes me as the strangest part of the song.
4. "Woohoo" From Bionic (2010)
The lyrics: "All the boys think it's cake when they taste my woohoo."
I am all for female singers putting out songs about the joys of oral sex, but... a "woohoo?!"
5. "A Love For All Seasons" From Christina Aguilera (1999)
The lyrics: "I feel like a fool/Like a schoolgirl, a true blue girl/ Who wants to know, can he come out and play?"
OK, what's a true blue girl? I just feel icky when I hear sexy lyrics about schoolgirls.
6. "Elastic Love" From Bionic (2010)
The lyrics: "A rubber band is what I call your love for me" and "Your love is a sharpener, it really grates" and "A rubber was an analogy — you could even say it was a metaphor."
My god! It's like a poem written by a melodramatic teenager. And does the world really need corny metaphors that compare love to various office supplies? I think not.
Aguilera might be the number one expert on what a girl wants, but sometimes, she doesn't know which lyrics are super goofy.