Entertainment

13 Cringeworthy Lines From Superhero Movies

by Chelsea Mize

If you're ever feeling down on yourself, just remember that nobody's perfect. The superheroes from your favorite movies and TV shows that you looked up to as a kid are the perfect example of this. Superhero movies, while often entertaining and action-packed, aren't exactly known for their stellar dialogue. Case in point: these 13 cheesy quotes from superhero movies that are sure to make you cringe.

I know, I know. You probably aren't going to see the latest X-Men movies (seriously, how many of these are they going to make?) for the award-winning script. However, I would be willing to bet that there have been moments in your life where you've sat back in your seat in shock at the movie theater because the villain (or hero, for that matter) just uttered the stupidest pun.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a good pun. But if I'm Mr. Freeze, I'm going to use my chill/ice/freeze puns sparingly. You can only make so many "Wow, what a cool party [*wink wink nudge nudge*]" jokes before people start to think you're an idiot. So, without further ado, I will let you experience for yourself the cringe-y levels of stupidity that our favorite superheroes (and their enemies) succumb to in the face of danger.

“They say it’s all downhill after the first kiss.”“I think that only applies if you’re kissing a human.” - Man of Steel

I had high hopes for Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder's take on Superman but it's lines like this that lost me.

"What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!" - Batman & Robin

This awful line is spoken by Mr. Freeze right before he blasts someone with ice. I think if I were his victim, I would be glad to be dead after listening to that stupid pun.

“Deliver uuuussssssss!!” “Finish it! FINISH IT!” “From eeeeeevil!” - Spider-Man

In Spider-Man, Peter Parker's dear old Aunt May is praying in her room when the Green Goblin busts in and screams at her to finish the prayer. You are gonna need some wine to go with all that cheese, Goblin.

"Susan, let's not fight." "No, LET'S!" - Fantastic Four

Jessica Alba as Sue Storm shouts this back at Dr. Doom in the superhero-movie equivalent of an "I know you are but what I am" type of comeback. Skip to 1:30 in the video above to see this terrible comeback.

"Game over!" "Guess what? It's overtime!" - Catwoman

Catwoman might have a bunch of talents but witty sports jokes aren't in her wheelhouse.

"It took God seven days to create paradise. Let's see if I can do better." - Batman & Robin

This line brought to you by Poison Ivy, who is clearly trying too hard to be sexy.

"That's it, Tinker Bell! You wanna fly? Then fly!" - Fantastic Four

The whole conversation goes down a little something like this:

"[Johnny hurls a fireball that smacks Ben in the back of his head]

Ben Grimm: Did you just...?

[gets another fireball in the face]

Susan Storm: Johnny, stop it!

Ben Grimm: That's it, Tinker Bell! You wanna fly? Then fly!"

Lois Lane's Awkard "Can You Read My Mind" Inner Monologue - Superman: The Movie

This awkward, detached inner monologue poem of Lois Lane's would make more sense if I were tripping on acid or something. Since I'm just hopped up on Mountain Dew, this is just super awkward to watch. Like why not just speak to him out loud? Or just not recite a poem in your head?

"Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? [Storm electrocutes Toad] ... The same thing happens to everything else!" - X-Men

This line, spoken by Storm, is widely hated by fans. To make matters worse, it was written by the beloved Joss Whedon. Maybe the bottomless mimosas at brunch that day just got the better of him or something.

"Digital camera - $250. Memory stick - $59. The look on your hard-ass former C.O.'s face when he finds out he's your junior pilot - priceless." - Fantastic Four

This is literally the same concept I used for a poster in middle school when I ran for student council president. Get some new burns, Johnny Storm.

"White Russian, no ice, no vodka... hold the Kahlua." - Catwoman

This doesn't quite have the same ring to it as James Bond's 'shaken, not stirred' line.

"Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" - X-Men: The Last Stand

Any screenwriter should know not to reference an internet joke in a film... it's sloppy and will date the film in approximately 2 weeks when the meme or viral video is forgotten by the public.

"Tonight's forecast... a freeze is coming!" - Batman & Robin

This is another terrible pun courtesy of Mr. Freeze. So bad.

Images: Warner Bros. Pictures/YouTube; Giphy (11)