There are some old wives' tales about sex, partnership, and pleasure that are actually rather sweet, if bizarre. Sewing a swan's feather to a pillow, for instance, is meant to guarantee a partner's fidelity, presumably because swans mate for life. Other old wives' tales about sex, though, are just ridiculous — and you, rationalist modern critical thinker that you are, may believe more of them than you think you do. We've already put together a list of five sexy old wives' tales that need to be busted — but there are so many more that we've come back for a second helping.
Logic often goes out the door when it comes to bedroom facts anyway — and while you probably mostly associate folk wisdom with determining the gender of a baby through swinging a ring above the belly, or stepping over cracks so as not to cause a maternal figure spinal injury, misinformation has been handed down about naked fun times, too. Some old wives' tales actually have a basis in scientific truth, but others, frankly, need to be thrown out and never discussed again — or at the very least cast a very distinct side-eye.
Some of these may have passed you by entirely, while others will have been so unquestioned you may be shocked to find they're complete horse feathers from beginning to end. Either way, it's time to sweep all the old wives' tales comprehensively out of your bedroom. (But don't lean the broom on the bed, or evil spirits will curse it. Just kidding.)
1. Masturbation Will Make You Blind Or Hairy
This one has a religious background, and was meant to discourage self-exploration as much as possible through scare tactics. The proposed "consequences" of masturbation have varied widely, but they've ranged from blindness to hairy palms to some kind of "brain weakness" that leaves the poor masturbator susceptible to mental illness.
2. Nosebleeds Mean Uncontrollable Sexual Arousal
3. You Can't Get Pregnant If You Have Sex In Water
I can only imagine this is one of the reasons why myths about cavorting with mermaids were so popular in many cultures: no babies. The problem? The result can definitely, definitely be babies.
4. Lettuce Can Make You Aroused
5. Big Feet = Big Penis
The theory that men who are more sizeable overall, particularly in their hands and feet, will be more blessed in the intimate department is so widespread it almost seems unfair to question it. But do not go on dates with men simply because they flaunt their size-16 shoes, because science has proven that it's not a guarantee of 10 inches anywhere else.
6. Men Think About Sex Every 7 Seconds
7. Fruit Makes For Better-Tasting Semen
This one comes from some very saucy old wives indeed, and it's frankly a little odd, in that the science doesn't fall one way or the other — for the very good reason that there's never been a definitive study about semen-taste. Rounding up volunteers for it would probably be slightly tricky.
Anecdotal evidence certainly suggests that diet plays a part in the smell and taste of semen, but Psychology Today points out that it's 96 percent water and two percent sperm, leaving only two percent of anything that could improve its taste. It does contain fructose, or fruit sugar, as a nutrient source for the sperm, which may explain why fructose-high sugary fruit is reputed to be a semen taste-boost. Chances are that this is a highly individual situation, and that biology, overall diet and other factors also play a big role in semen's taste, as does the tastebud arrangement of the person experiencing it. Don't bank on pineapple as a way to make your next blow job a pleasant experience, is all I'm saying.
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