For all of you out there who have experienced a first date, I do not have to tell you that it can either be the singular most uncomfortable experience of your life, or the start of something new and glorious a la High School Musical. Whether you met your new prospect on one of your many dating apps, or happened to notice their tight buns during cycling class, first dates are a mixed bag. Instant chemistry could prevail, and you may start ordering your monogrammed couples' towels, or maybe you have to change your Facebook name to escape your latest, most adamant stalker. Let's just hope it's the first one.
And if you are lucky enough to meet someone you're really into on a first date, you'll probably know right away whether or not they're worth a second. But on top of those fluttery butterflies filling your stomach, there are a few other signs that will tell you whether or not you're into someone, and quite frankly, they're kinda weird. If you're anything like me, some of the signals you unintentionally give off will leave you wanting to stay in bed for the next week, avoiding social interaction all together. But hey, that's human mating patterns for you.
1. You Pretend To Understand All Of Their References
If your new date is a hardcore fan of something, you better bet they'll be dropping references and quotes throughout your conversation to their favorite TV show or movie. And when I'm into a guy, I find that even if I haven't even heard of the show he's talking about, I laugh and nod, usually throwing in a, “Yeah, that was great!” for good measure. For example, if he asks me if I've seen the last season of Mad Men, I may say under my breath, “Honey, for you I have.”
2. You Can't Really Look Them In The Eye
Maybe you're a bit more bold than I am, but if I'm on a first date with someone I really like, looking into their eyes for too long makes me blush like I'm back in middle school. Perhaps it's the intensity of their gaze, or maybe their eyes are just too damned beautiful and I don't want to get lost in them; either way, I'm looking down at my napkin more than I care to admit.
3. You've Stopped Paying Attention To What They're Saying In Favor Of Planning Your Future Together
“Sorry, what did you say, I missed that?”
*Continues to picture the two of you on the French Riviera, eating croissants and staring blissfully into each other's eyes while a mime silently tells the story of your love* ...or some other French-themed cliché to that effect.
4. Your Nervous Habit Has Suddenly Become More Pronounced
Whether you have a loud laugh, or you can't stop your leg from bouncing up and down, suddenly you're a one-woman chorus of odd noises and ticks. Let's just hope Mr./Ms. Dreamy doesn't notice that their charm and appeal has you in a tizzy.
5. You're Texting Everyone You Know As Soon As They Go To The Bathroom
So they've finally left the table to saunter off to the loo, and now your fingers are clicking away, letting everyone and their mother know just how much you like this person. You can't help but share the news; they're so cute, and they can even see the merit in your personal Game of Thrones theory.
6. You Find A Not-So-Nonchalant Way To Bring Up A Second Date
Hmm, yes, you like bread? I like bread too...maybe we should go to a bread factory together, say on our second date?
7. You're Exaggerating Past Experiences To Make Them Sound Cooler
Yes, you did go to Florida last winter but no, you didn't learn to surf because you were too busy visiting your grandparents in their new development. But do they need to know that? Absolutely not. You doing all of these “cool things” just seems to add to your complete “knowledge” of all their references. Obviously, they can't help but fall in love with you now.
8. You're Hyper Aware Of How You Eat
Is there a seductive way to use a fork? Am I chewing too loudly? Am I chewing for too long? You've never asked yourself these questions, but suddenly you want to know what is the most enticing way you can eat, while not being too obvious about it.
The world of the first date can most certainly be an uncomfortable sequence of overly exaggerated story telling, and loud laughter to match, but no need to fret: if that person likes you just as much as you like them, they'll be obsessively focusing on their every word and move just as you are. And that's what makes for a happy relationship, after all.
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