The Best Place For Virgos To Have Sex, And Other Helpful Tips To Get You Laid

We’re constantly fascinated by what our zodiac sign says about our love lives, whether it's which signs are most compatible, the best sex positions for each sign, or how each sign handles conflict in relationships. That's why Bustle has enlisted Mecca Woods, a New York City-based Astrologer to tell us all about how astrology is affecting our love lives each week. This week's topic: the best place for virgos to have sex.

Confession: I’m insanely attracted to Taurus and Virgos (sorry, Scorpios). Virgo, the zodiac’s resident health guru, often brings all the boys and girls to the yard. (Hello, Idris Elba). Sounds shallow? Maybe. But if sex is good for your health, then shouldn’t it make sense that a Virgo is too? Ha!

Anyway, Virgos, when it comes to your love life, you often get a bad rep for being a prude when it comes to sex. This is because you prefer, unlike maybe a freewheeling Sagittarius, a bit of a courtship phase before the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am part of the evening. But rather than this approach simply being a matter of you being nit-picky and uptight, it’s more about your deeply rooted knowledge of what turns you on and what doesn’t. That’s a good thing though, as not many people can say the same. With the right lover, in the right place, you can put even the dirtiest of Scorpios (sorry again, Scorps) to shame. In the spirit of perfection, here are a few suggestions to keep the sex top notch.

1. Hit The Showers

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I know plenty of Virgos who fancy themselves a shower in between sex sessions. Now while some may find this a little OCD, you recognize that proper hygiene plays an important role in health and physical pleasure. I mean, the last thing anyone should have to worry about is the level of cleanliness of their partner’s bits. Ew. However, juicy (and safe) shower sex has less to do with actual intercourse, and more to do with intimacy. As a Virgo, you tend to live in your head; making you miss the richness of the present moment. Showering with your partner not only gets you both nice and squeaky clean but you can use it as a quiet moment to really soak in each other’s presence.

Bonus tip: grab some natural or vegan soap/shampoo infused with some yummy essential oils like ylang ylang, sandalwood, or vanilla, then have you and your babe take turns bathing each other for some tender one-on-one time.

2. Beg For It

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Hands down, one of my favorite films is Secretary. It’s a story about a young woman (Maggie Gyllenhaal as Lee Holloway) who finds deliciously erotic love with her BDSM proficient boss (James Spader). In one of the film’s most famous scenes, Spader’s character, Mr. Grey spanks Lee for a series of typos she makes on an assignment. While jarred at first, later she comes to beg him for it. It’s a classic Dominant/submissive scenario, and as the sign of Health, Work, and Service; I like to think of every Virgo having a little submissive secretary in them. Take your pride of a job well done into the bedroom and let your lover take the lead. They tell you what to do in every dirty detail (with your consent, of course) and you, my darling, you get rewarded or punished for your performance. Leather collar, optional.

3. Come Back Down To Earth

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Being a child of Mercury (the planet that symbolizes thoughts, words, and the intellect) you’re prone to anxiety, nervousness, and mental overload because your mind never stops moving. This is wonderful when you have a task or several tasks at hand, but can be a real turn-off when it comes to sex. Still, as an earth sign, you possess the ability to block out the mental chatter and zero in on what feels good to your body, since being an earth sign means your most concerned with tangible, physical matters. When you feel yourself overcome with worry and your brain starts to take off without you, take time out to step out of your head and back into your body. Experience your sensuality through masturbation, sensual massage, kissing, oral sex, and cuddling. Remember to feed your five senses; extra points if you and your partner feed each other. Mmm.

4. Keep It Sexty

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Beyond being a worker bee of the zodiac, Virgos are known to be incredibly creative and witty. Many Virgos have been known to don the hat of writer, performer, producer, or director. So why not bring some of that creativity to your love life? That’s right, Virgo. Get “Sexty” with it. Now I understand that this may mean following some standard sexting rules such as no sexting before the first date (unless you want a Tinder hookup) and no nudes, but a little sexting with your sweetie can be just what you need to insert a little fun and spice into a blah day. Not only does it give you the chance to mentally connect with your lover and impress them with your sharp wit but sexting also can help build up some rather nice anticipation to the main event; giving you and your mate something to look forward to later.

5. Go Healthy

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Ha! As if I had to tell you. But seriously though, if you’re looking to add a little pizzazz to your dating game, some of the best places for Virgos to go to meet a hottie or to have a little fun with one could be a yoga class, a cooking class, or a workshop/lecture on alternative health practices like Ayurveda. Just think about it. I mean, how exciting would it be to geek out with a sexy someone over your own gluten-free bread? Hella exciting, thank you very much.

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