I know what y'all are thinking: too many frogs, not enough princes/ses. But what if we're looking for love in all the wrong species? Now that Patrick the Wombat is on Tinder, millennial dating might have finally met its match. And boy howdy, guys, if you were feeling sorry for yourself for being more single than that sock you lost in middle school, than Patrick the Wombat is about to story top you hard and fast. The 30-year-old joined Tinder not only to celebrate his birthday, but to celebrate the fact that he is now the oldest known wombat in the captivity — and has been single the entire damn time. SMH, right?
In any case, the adorable critter, who hails from the Ballarat Wildlife Park in Australia, is set to celebrate in style with a party on August 30. Apparently he's had plenty of matches swiping on Tinder so far, so maybe his emoji game will be strong enough to convince one of his suitors to join him for the festivities. (Emojis are how we flirt now, right? I just got an emoji keyboard last week so I am tragically behind on the times.) I mean, who could turn down this little dude?
Look at that face. You just know he's down to Netflix and chill. I mean, he's a little old for me (sorry, Pat!), but he's clearly young at heart, even if he does seems to be a marsupial of few words. Plus, if you end up dating him, you will be in no short supply of what looks like a semi-questionable vegetable cake.
So yeah, if anybody needs me, I'm going to be holding up my phone to the Tinder gods in hope that it will somehow magically pick up on Patrick the Wombat's location, so I can swipe right on the one dude who (probably) would never ask me "sup?" at 3 a.m. Happy birthday, buddy. Glad to have you in our ranks.
Images: Courtesy of Ballarat Wildlife Park