RIP the worst puns in the world. That's right the future of online dating is here and Match will no longer require members to have a username when they register, meaning KingCock43 and Sexyyyybabiegurl are no longer a modern day Romeo and Juliet. Actually... no one is complaining. It's cringe-y enough when you remember your first AIM screen name or Hotmail email address (I'm pretty mine had something to do with crazygurl1987 because the year I was born is so important amirightguys?), and you might think that as adults we would do a better job, but it turns out we do not. I guess we can't blame them— I mean, I'm a girl who nearly used "Dead behind the eyes, alive between the thighs." as a Tinder tagline.
You don't want to use your real name and you realize that all the pretty normal ones are taken, so you start to add some word play and then one thing leads to another and you've gotten yourself to "69WithWineAnd1989" and you don't know how it happened. Although some of these look like the work of downright sociopaths.
Match asked it's Customer Care Team about some of the funniest and most memorable usernames they've found over the years, and they've compiled a top ten list. I'm just so upset I wasn't privy to the phone call where someone said "I'm having problems with my account?" "And what's your username, sir?" "SkittleFartz... with a 'z'". Because then I would have smiled forever and always.
The Top 10 Most Memorable Match Usernames:
- TwisDemNipples
- Hardworkingmilf
- IWantAllDaSecks
- DilettosJunkie
- SkittleFartz
- TonyPonyNY
- GlitterIsAColor21
- SPF70Always
- BigGulps32oz
- Assless_Chaps
They also surveyed their members and came up with some pretty interesting info about usernames. Keep this in mind if you ever need to create one in the future:
1. 65 Percent Of Women Have Been Turned Off By A Username
Really? TwisDemNipples didn't lead to love at first sight? Shocking.
2. The Hottest Name For A Man Was Mike
Dave and Steve took second and third place, so apparently women feel safer messaging guys with pretty standard, popular names.
3. Sarah Was The Hottest Female Name
Sarah's were most likely to be messaged, again sticking with the popular choices, and Michelle and Lisa came second and third.
4. CountryBoy And CountryGirl Were The Least Hot Names
Despite being two of the most used names on the site, 78 percent of women and 36 percent said they wouldn't message anyone with those names. I'd like to think that some place all the CountryBoys and CountryGirls have run off together into the sunset. That place is probably Texas.
5. Angel And Babygirl Were Also In The Least Hot Girl Names
Thank god some things have changed since high school.
6. 65 Percent Of Users Said A Bad Username Would Make Them Question Your Intelligence
... 65 percent of people are correct.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
Images: Pexels; Giphy (6)
