7 Jokes All Death Cab For Cutie Fans Are Tired Of Hearing

It was hard enough being an emo kid without having all of the not-angst-ridden-24/7 kids giving me guff about it. My friends still tease me to this day about my dyed black hair and bleached blonde bangs I rocked in high school. Granted, I totally deserved it because I was a straight-A student whose parents happily drove me to punk rock concerts in the city. I really didn't have that much to be sad about. I realize it so much more now, as Death Cab For Cutie's breakthrough album Plans turns 10 years old, that my sad teenage self could have had a lot more fun with some bucking up.

But, then again, emo and pop punk music was my way to find my fellow weird friends. Sitting around with acoustic guitars and wailing Taking Back Sunday lyrics was just what we did, OK!?

When Plans was released, I was 18 and holding onto my last shred of being an emo kid. I still dug some of the music, but a lot of my friends had abandoned "the scene" for hardcore music and that really wasn't my bad. I had mostly dropped the rubber bracelets and pixie cut by that time, but the album, in all of its woeful glory stuck — whether my zine-loving friends thought they were, like, total sellouts* at that point are not.

So in honor of Plans 10th anniversary and to all my fellow emo kids, here are all the jokes we're still tired of hearing.

1. Why Are You Wearing A Shirt About The Mail?


2. How Many Emo Kids Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb!?

None, because they all sit in the dark and cry about it! Yuk yuk!

3. Can I Buy You A Happy Meal?

Well nowadays, I'd be like DOPE, but when I was 15 that was highly insulting.

4. Oh, I Love "Hands Down!"

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Nope, wrong sad guy with automotive band name.

5. Do You Take Your Coffee Black... Like Your Soul?


I may be a tortured artist, but I'm also a half-and-halfer. Don't discriminate.

6. How Many Dolphins Had To Cry For That Haircut?

I actually just made that up and think it's hilarious.

7. Poser!

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That word is such a joke. Please, scene kids, if there are still scene kids out there, please stop saying this word. It's OK to be sad and feel all the things, but be cool to each other.

Happy 10th Anniversary, Plans!

*They weren't and I now recognize those guys who cared about that term were all jerks, anyway.

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