Chris Bukowski Left 'Bachelor In Paradise' After He Had The Shortest, Drunkest Vacation The Show Has Ever Seen
He's baaaack! On Sunday, Chris Bukowski came onto Bachelor In Paradise looking for love (as he’s done before on shows such as The Bachelorette (twice, since he tried to crash Andi’s inaugural cocktail party), Bachelor Pad (which he said is the best show ever), and, um, Bachelor in Paradise twice. It’s pretty much a lock that Chris will show up at some point during these shows. To put it in perspective, if The Bachelor were The Challenge (you know, the Real World/Road Rules mash up show), Chris would be CT or Coral. Always there. But Chris’ time on Bachelor In Paradise came in like thunder and slowly died, whimpering in the wind when Chris decided to leave Paradise about 16 minutes after he arrived.
The problems really all started when Chris got his date card and just plain decided to not use it. What did he do instead? He got rip-roaring, blind drunk. Drunker than a sophomore at the homecoming dance. Drunker than I could even describe in these next few paragraphs. Fortunately for Chris, being that drunk means he was having a great time, but unfortunately for Chris, being that drunk meant that no one else really wanted to deal with him. I mean, he was that friend who almost fell in the fire, and no one would want to have to rescue him because it would harsh everyone else’s buzz, you know?
Somehow, Chris got the beer legs to ask Tenley out on a date. She, in her gorgeous “I literally used to be a Disney princess" way, gently turned Chris down, saying that she only looked at Chris as a friend. She assured him that he should invite someone else that he felt strongly about, but, for Chris, it seems like the only person he wanted to invite was Tenley. So, he forked over his date card to someone who did want it (Josh), and, in a very scarily edited sequence, Chris staggered toward the Bachelor In Paradise exit. The producers even made it seem like he was hearing all of these crazy voices and laughter surrounding him. And Chris was never seen again.
I’m not even kidding — that was his last scene on this season of Bachelor In Paradise. In like a lion, out like a very, very drunk lamb. I’d feel sorry for Chris, but, at the very least, he seems to be doing well now, even poking fun at his time on the show.
His time on BiP may be done, but I have a feeling we’ll be seeing him again on another show in the Bachelor franchise very, very soon. Next, next Bachelor, anyone?