Why Having Less Sex Doesn't Mean Your Relationship Is In Trouble
If you're partnered up, chances are that you've spun off into an irrational panic at least once or twice worrying you're not having enough sex in your relationship. Conventional wisdom suggests that getting it on 2-3 times a week means you're in the clear, but that arbitrary gold standard from god-knows-where fails to take into account the vast variety of partnerships out there.
According to a recent poll of 6,500 British young adults reported in The Mirror, 51 percent haven't had sex in the past month. Sixty-eight percent said they don't rank "physical attractiveness" or their sex lives in the top three things that hold their relationships together, and a third of those between the ages of 25-34 define themselves as celibate.
With the asexual community receiving more visibility than ever, there are more conversations circulating about sex as an option instead of sex as a requirement. Even though having less sex does not an asexual make, it's still important to think about why there's a stigma attached to adults not defining their relationship's success based solely upon their sexcapades. If you're truly not happy with your sexual frequency, you can always work with your partner to make a change, but if less sex works for both of you at the moment, why worry? Here are six reasons why having less sex isn't necessarily the death knell of a relationship:
1. Sometimes You Need To Focus On Work
Scientists have found that multitasking doesn't exist, so the human brain isn't wired to juggle long, intense work hours and challenging, all consuming projects on top of super steamy sexual scenarios. That's not to say you can't have both, but a little time out of the saddle can help hone your professional focus, and any good partnership should be able to weather that break.
2. Sometimes It's More Important To Deal With Emotional Issues
If you're going through a rough patch with your S.O., you might not be uber turned on at the sight of them. Taking a break from intimacy can help reset your connection, especially if you use that time to deal with your individual and collective issues.
3. Sometimes You're Just Not Feeling It
Tired, sick, overworked, depressed, or just not feeling it? We're taught that the best way to express romantic affection is through sex, but sometimes a Game of Thrones marathon or a long bike ride together works just as well.
4. Sometimes Masturbation Is All You Want
You don't need to have less coupled sex to masturbate, but some days it's all you might be in the mood for. Indulging in self-pleasure boosts self-esteem and happy hormones, which can only help your relationship, so it's kinda a win-win, right?
5. Sometimes You Need To Focus On Your Other Intimate Relationships
Family (and friend) drama happens, and it can do a number on your sex drive. Life can get extremely complicated and exhausting, and you should be able to give yourself a pass from great sexpectations without feeling like your relationship won't be able to recover.
6. Sometimes Your Kids Are more Important
If you're a parent — particularly a new parent — it's pretty key you focus on your baby instead of pondering where your next orgasm is coming from. For those who can successfully juggle both, congrats, you win at life! But for the rest, putting your sex life on hold for a bit doesn't mean you won't be able to kickstart it when the time is right.
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