Fifteen years ago, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's characters went into the witness protection program after witnessing a jewelry heist. After several failed attempts to keep their secret, the FBI had no other choice but to place them in Sydney, Australia (I know, it’s a rough life). Taking on new identities as Abby and Maddie Turtleby, Our Lips Are Sealed is a Mary-Kate and Ashley hit straight-to-VHS movie that many of us grew up watching. If you didn’t, you missed out in my opinion, because it’s hilariously bad, yet we all just wanted to be Mary-Kate and Ashley.
The last time I saw Our Lips Are Sealed was probably around the time it came out in 2000. Personally, I was more of a Holiday in The Sun gal, but who could turn down a 90-minute Australian journey? Not me. Not to mention, there were two cute blond Aussies who seem to be pretty decent surfers. (Writing this makes me feel kind of gross considering they are young boys in the film and I’m now an adult, but at the time I was obsessed). There are tons of things I failed to notice the first few times I watched this because I was just 10 years old when it came out. So I decided to go back and re-watch all the amazingness that is, Our Lips Are Sealed.
1. The Odd Mail Truck
Instead of renting a mail truck for the movie, they just painted a jeep to look like a mail truck. #budgetproblems
2. This Convincing Disguise
Yeah, this disguise will definitely make them look incognito.
3. They Won A Case Over A Zit
Can we talk about how no one in history has been convicted after a freshman in high school identified a guy over a zit? Oh well, apparently it's solid evidence.
4. Emil Hatchew
Dying over the mobster’s last name sounding like a sneeze. Definitely not something I remembered from when I was a kid.
5. Stanford Blatch Plays An FBI Agent
Before he played Carrie Bradshaw’s BFF, Willie Garson worked for the FBI in the witness protection program.
Remember this piece of ancient technology?
7. They Had A Pet Kangaroo
New life goals. How do we get a pet kangaroo that eats potato chips and watches TV?
8. Crushing A Can On Your Head
Raise your hand if you tried to do this after this movie. Don’t, it hurts.
9. The Subtle Titanic Moment
When you have a boat at your disposal, the Titanic recreation is a must.
10. Jason Clarke
Mac, one of the bad guys, was played by Jason Clarke. You may recognize him from Terminator Genisys, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, The Great Gatsby, Zero Dark Thirty, White House Down, The Chicago Code or Brotherhood. Basically, he’s a big actor these days.
11. This Fashion Trend
Animal print pockets were so fetch.
12. These Weird Pauses Filled With Jokes
Whose idea was it to have them dancing, pause, and have them tell terrible jokes? That guy should be fired.
13. They Stole A Car
Remember when they’re being chased by the mob guys? Pete and Avery just hop into a random car and drive away. They stole a freaking car and literally no one cared.
14. This Torturous Plan
Death by makeover. Wouldn’t life be much easier if you got people to confess by painting their nails and doing their makeup?
15. Who Is This Creepy Guy?
…And why does everyone act like a guy who believes he's a news anchor is normal?
16. So They Get To Keep The Diamond?
I’m pretty sure in real life that diamond would be returned to the museum. Instead, the FBI agent Kate just tosses it back to the twins. Ah, to be an Olsen!
Images: Our Lips Are Sealed/Screenshots (17)