Personally I think that one of the greatest things about the invention of the smartphone is sexting. Seriously: So hot. Maybe it’s because I’m one of the many women out there who’s more turned on by erotica than by porn but there’s just something about talking dirty via text/messenger/chat that I just love. And I’m definitely not alone in my love of digital dirty talk. While all of the earliest news stories about sexting were scare trend pieces that can be summed up in “WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN,” a recent study found that almost nine in ten American adults have sexted. That could be partly because a lot of those “children” (read: sexually active teens) that everyone was so concerned about are now young adults. Or it could just be because sexting is sexy. Or, you know, some combination of all of the above.
But all sexting is by no means created equal. For every hot and heavy dirty talk session, there are probably at least three failed convos that stalled at “ur so hot let me lik ur pussy.” Ugh, gross, no. A failed sext is almost as sad as whiskey dick after a night of heavy flirting. (Almost.) There’s just so much failed potential there!
And I don’t mean to hate on the guys. Ladies, there are definitely ways that you could up your sexting games too, and I don’t mean by sending more clam shots; lets be a little more creative, please. So no matter what your gender is, here are some tips for upping your sexting game to the next level.
1. Pay Attention To Terms
There are lots and lots of different ways to describe body parts and sex acts. If your sexting partner uses one term (“cock”) don’t respond with a different one (“swollen member”). Similarly, if someone is using a term that you really don’t like and it’s killing you (lady)boner, tell them! Don’t let terminology get in the way of a good digital sex session.
2. Paint A Picture
One of the great things about sexting is that you can be “doing” anything you want. If you’re into alien probes or sexy schoolgirls or some kind of elaborate princess scene, go for it! Describe what’s going on, who’s doing what, even what they’re wearing. Acting out fantasies — especially ones that aren’t safe or realizable IRL — can be super hot via sext.
3. Write Out Every Word!!
T9 is dead and gone. There is no excuse for txt spk anymore, ladies and gents. The only — and I mean ONLY! — time that it might be okay is when you’re one-hand typing. Still, even then, please keep up the illusion of literacy and type out your damn words. If that’s too hard for you, do it on your phone. Then you only need a thumb!
4. Pay Attention To Your Partner’s Cues
If your sexting partner is digging it, they’ll let you know. Just like in real life sex, you can pay attention to how your partner is reacting to what you’re laying down. If they’re responding with one letter at any point in your convo that isn’t the climax (because, as we’ve already covered, typing is hard at that point), then they’re probably not doing much other than watching TV and texting their BFF about how lame you are. If you find yourself at this point, remedy it with questions. What do you want? How do you like it? Do you like it when I…? Those are all great ways to get the heat back into a failing sext session.
5. Don’t Be Pushy
You can ask for a pic but if they say no, then no means no. Don’t push for it. Women especially hate it when they’re being pressured into doing something sexually that they’re not comfortable with and any woman with an internet connection knows that revenge porn is a very real thing. Don’t push for sexy pics if your sexting partner has indicated that they’re not into it.
6. Don’t Ever Kiss And Tell
On a related note, nudie pics are a precious, precious gift. DO NOT share them with people that your sexting partner has not given you permission to share them with!! It doesn’t matter how “bangin’” her booty is or how goofy his disembodied penis looks. It’s never OK to share nude images of people without their consent.
7. Keep Your Phone Charged!
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