Prepare to bow before YouTube user BloodBlitz Comedy, for they have done the impossible — they made Joffrey the hero of Game of Thrones, and all it took was — according to them — 50 hours of editing. (Honestly, given how despicable Joffrey was during his time on the show, I'm surprised it didn't take longer.) It is nearly impossible to imagine a reality where Joffrey is anything other than a raging little sociopath with a taste for cruelty and humiliation — but, after watching this masterful editing, I actually can imagine a world where Joffrey is a mistreated, brave prince!
Beware guys, you are about to enter the Westerosi version of the Twilight Zone.
The video presents a compelling narrative of Joffrey growing up with a desire to be a true and good king. It's also a love story that paints Margaery as the villain of the piece, when she poisons the king after taking the throne at his side.
It's all very interesting, but now that I have entered the bizarro world Westeros, I want more. How would Joffrey being the hero of the story change the narrative on a larger scale? Would the Starks be the bad guys? Would Sansa be living out a happy ending? Would Dany be seen as an evil usurper from afar? Let's find out — but first check out the video below for a tale of love, heroism, and a young king who just wants everyone to get along.
Now that you've been primed to visit this uncharted alternate universe, it's time to dive deep into a world where Joffrey is beloved.
1. The Lannisters Are Basically The Brady Bunch
Since Tyrion and Joffrey share a healthy mutual respect for each other (aside from what I am going to assume is an isolated slapping incident) the Lannisters must be much closer to one another. Tyrion and Cersei bond as they back Joffrey as the one true king after the death of Robert, and I suspect Tywin is a a devoted father and grandfather in this universe where he didn't manage to screw up his children. The outlier here is Jaime: Perhaps Cersei never wanted her son to know he was the product of incest, so Jaime left the Lannister name behind in the name of love. Yes, that means Tommen and Myrcella do not exist.
2. The Starks Are The Lannisters' Strongest Allies
Ned Stark and the rest of his family pledge themselves to Joffrey and the Lannisters. There is no bad blood between them, and Robb is straight up willing to raise an army in Joff's name. In this world, Ned declares Joffrey the true king after Robert's death, and his entire family fights to keep Joffrey on the throne at any cost. Sadly, Joffrey is advised to marry not for love, but for political alliance, leading him to end his betrothal to his best friend and true love Sansa.
Heartbroken, Sansa marries Tyrion instead to seal the alliance between the Starks and the Lannisters for good. She remains Joffrey's closest ally, but they both accept that they can never truly be together.
3. The Tyrells Are The Bad Guys
The Tyrells are still pretty much the Tyrells, except their expert scheming and behind-the-scenes manipulations are now seen as the work of evil masterminds. Margaery and her grandmother plot to take the throne in the name of their family by concocting an elaborate seduction, followed by a poisoning scheme. With a little help from Littlefinger, they convince Joffrey that the realm needs an established political presence like Margaery as the Queen, leading him to unwillingly break Sansa's heart.
After his death, Margaery is jailed and — gasp! — beheaded when Loras loses in a trial by combat between himself and Jaime, who goes MIA from the Watch in order to defend his dead son.
4. Joffrey Is Azor Ahai
Despite not fitting any of the requisites to be Azor Ahai, Joffrey shocks the kingdom when he is resurrected as the prophesied leader. The reborn Joff knows of his true parentage and he flees Westeros, believing himself to be unworthy of the throne. As the Hand of the King, Tyrion leads in Joffrey's stead, with an assist from Cersei.
This is basically Joffrey's Jedi training period as he wanders in the dessert honing his skills as a warrior and meeting the exiled princess Dany.
5. Joffrey And Dany Become The Ultimate Power Couple
Dany's story remains unchanged. She is still trying to claim the Iron Throne by raising an army and liberating the people of Yunkai and Meereen. When Joffrey hears Dany is close he disguises himself as a sellsword and enters her employ. The more he gets to know Dany, the more he begins to respect her and acknowledge that she is a far stronger leader than he is.
By the time Dany finds out who Joffrey is, she has already fallen in love with him. Dany helps Joffrey come to terms with his parentage, and the two agree to return to Westeros to rule together. There's just one catch though — while Joff was away the long winter descended on Westeros, along with the white walkers.
6. Joffrey And Dany Lead Their Army To Westeros
Dany and Joffrey unite the Seven Kingdoms and beyond to defend the realm against the White Walkers. The power couple lead the charge with their dragons, The Night's Watch, and the Unsullied, destroying the Walkers amidst the snow. Since Joff is Azor Ahai, he finds himself carrying Lightbringer. He dies in battle, but not before winning the fight, thus immortalizing him as a hero in the eyes of his people.
7. Joffrey Is Immortalized In Song
Long after his death, the people of Westeros sing of the good king Joffrey and how he saved a kingdom with his flaming sword.
I hope you have all enjoyed opposite day. All hail King Joffrey! Remember, with the right editing skills anyone can be a good and benevolent ruler.
Images: Helen Sloan/HBO; Giphy (7)