5 Signs They're Not Your Soulmate

by Liz Newman

Ahh, soulmates. That idea that there's only one perfect person out there to complete you. And you must find them! There are even signs you've found your soulmate. And if you don't detect these signs, well, you're doomed to live a life of mediocrity. (OK, maybe that was a little dramatic. And also untrue.) Still, soulmates do this funny thing where they provide both comfort and ignite an all-out fear into our hearts and minds. The comfort roots in the whole message it eludes to, more specifically the: "you don't need to seek out love. Your soulmate will just appear one day as if from nowhere and you will become one forever... because that's the way the world works."

Then there's the other one. Pretty sure Sex and The City's Carrie Bradshaw said it best: "Alright, first of all, the idea that there's only one out there? I mean, why don't I just shoot myself right now?"

Wherever you stand on soulmates — real or ridiculous — one thing is for certain: there are ways to spot when someone is not one.

What are those things? Well, glad you asked. It's not what you think, and has nothing to do with whether or not this person brought you flowers or leaves you alone on NFL Draft Day, although both of those things are nice.

No, these tall-tale signs are rooted in the details. And these details speak volumes. Behold, the five signs that prove that he or she is not your soulmate, whether you believe in that sort of thing or not.

1. You Can NOT Cut The Sexual Chemistry With Any Knife, Whatsoever

Sure, passion fades; a solid foundation for your love fueled by friendship, respect, and loyalty is what you really want to be left with. Still, while may want to be in love, not lust (PS - there are ways to determine that), that doesn't mean there should be zero spark. Ever.

2. He Or She Isn't Your "In Case Of Emergency" Person

Not to go too Grey's Anatomy on you but your soulmate should be your "person." They can see you at your best and worst, you don't care. You want them around in the good and bad, and can't imagine anyone else you'd call if something was wrong.

3. You're Just Not At All Comfortable Around Each Other

Couples who are truly one, they barely have to speak to each other. No, we don't mean the silent treatment, we mean just the word-free bliss of being with someone. Their presence alone makes you happy, and when that's the case, there's never an awkward silence. There's never nervous fidgeting. In fact, as you're sitting quietly on the couch with either other, you're probably both in sweats, and find each other the most attractive.

4. There Are People You'd Rather Be Around More (Including Yourself)

Think of this as your deserted island question. If you had to be stuck with one person, would it be this one? If you can think of a few friends, family members, or dog you'd rather have around — or would just rather be alone — well, that doesn't speak too highly on your "forever" feelings for this person.

5. You're Not A Team

Whether you believe in soulmates or not, the right person helps you both realize and become the best version of yourself. And the two of you together are an indestructible force. If you feel you're flying solo, well, then just keep flying far, far away.

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