Kate Middleton & Royal Family's Hacked Phone & Text Messages Are Delightfully Hilarious LOL

As the maligned staff of the News of The World tabloid are now intimately aware, the Royal Family does not like having their phones tapped. And that seems more than fair, we proletarian Americans were disgusted and horrified to find out we were being wire-tapped by the NSA, and suffice it to say that beyond making plans against our great nation, they were not listening for salacious, personal tidbits, as the journalists of this failed tabloid absolutely were. However, the few findings released to the public offer a tantalizing view into the casual, intimate world of princes, dukes and queens, showing that more often than not, they're just like us.

For one thing, William has emerged as the comedic genius of the family, calling Kate "babykins" in a message (dear lord, we hope he was joking) and leaving a message for Harry in falsetto, so as to imitate Harry's then girlfriend Chelsy Davy.

But it makes us wonder, what else did we miss? What other Royal gems will never be released to the public due to the astonishing power of the Royal legal team? Personally, my mind is fairly overflowing with ideas, and most of them revolve pervily around Harry's drunk dials, phone sex, and the life of Kate and Wills post baby.

Here's what I think we'd find, were we to indulge our Royal obsession and peek into the private calls and texts of Britain's Royal Family.

From Camilla to Harry:

From Harry to, oops, Philip:

From the Queen to Prince Philip:

From William to Kate:

From Kate to Wills:

From Harry to William:

We can dream, can't we?