Thanksgiving Dinner Between 'Big Brother's Austin & Liz And The Nolan Family Would Be So, So Weird

It’s always when the first cool day rolls in that I begin to think about the holidays. How can you not? With the cold air comes changing leaves, warm sweaters, Halloween, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, and eventually — the mother of all fall events — Thanksgiving. As the days gets shorter and the summer comes to its official end, I find myself wondering what the Big Brother houseguests will be doing now that the season is almost over. Because just as the fall signals cool weather and an excuse to stop wearing sleeveless tops, it also signals the end of Big Brother. Which means it’s almost time for the houseguests to return to their everyday lives and prepare for their own fall festivities. But will this year be the first year that Liz and Austin celebrate the holidays together? And, if so, what exactly would it look like for Austin to meet the Nolan family and celebrate the holiday with them?

First of all, it would require some major ice breaking. A few drinks, maybe, or a round of name games. Anything to help the family avoid the pink elephant in the room: That their daughter brought home a man who “dumped” his previous girlfriend by making out with her in front of millions of people. Because every mother and father want their daughter to bring home someone who is incapable of fidelity. Or showing an ounce of respect for the woman he is dating.

But once they got past that awkward moment, it would onto meeting the rest of the family. Thankfully Austin already has an ally in the family in Julia. Or, at least he doesn’t have to start from scratch with her, but everyone else is a fresh face to Austin.

The rest of the dinner would be one big game of Avoid The Awkward Topic. Topics to be avoided include Austin’s other girlfriend, the fact that movement can be seen through bedding, beard buns, all of the ways he’s not like Clay, Vanessa, and the fact that Liz isn’t actually into him. As much as the Nolan family might be tempted to broach these topics, it will serve them well to avoid every single one of them at all costs. Instead, they can just let Austin pontificate for all of dinner about how much he loves Liz and how meeting her has changed his life. He’s really good at that.

So I’m guessing the Austin/Nolan holiday dinner might just be the most awkward holiday dinner in the history of awkward holiday dinners. Think about it for a second. And then be thankful that you got saddled with your perfectly imperfect family instead. Because at least your family meal won’t be as awkward as all that.

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Image: CBS (3)