26 Questions 'Vanderpump Rules' Season 4 Trailer Left Me With

Joy to the world, Pump Season (aka the most wonderful time of year) is nigh! Sure, the holidays are fun and all (who doesn't love a good cookie tin?), but nothing brings me more cheer than the sound of "Raise Your Glass" by Dena Deadly pouring from my television set. That's right, the magnificent program about a bunch of young hot people employed by Lisa Vanderpump will be back on our TV sets before you can say “One pitcher of LVP Red Sangria, please!” The fourth season of Bravo reality series Vanderpump Rules will premiere on November 2, and judging by the trailer, it will surely be the gift that keeps on giving. 

Wednesday morning, Bravo released the first preview for the next batch of Vanderpump Rules episodes, and I've watched it at least 15 times since. My goodness, is the video for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills spinoff ever something to behold. If you would be so kind, please go pour yourself a beverage of your choice right now. I would like to make a toast to all two minutes and 20 seconds of the trailer: Just raise our glasses high, this one's for the Season 4 preview tonight. 

In addition to cheers-ing to this wondrous program, I would like to share some of the very important questions that the trailer left me with. Crossing my fingers that the truth will come out about all 26 of these inquiries.

  1. Is that a safety pin in that button hole?


  2. (Ugh, why does "a safety pin in that button hole" sound so dirty?)
  3. Are safety pins the new zipper? 
  4. Is Lisa Vanderpump always watching over us?


  5. Is this hat a perfect hat?


  6. Where can I get a SUR blouse just like this one?


  7. Am I already obsessed with Lala?
  8. Why is Jax so mad about Tom Sandoval’s band?
  9. Whatever happened to Pierce the Arrow?
  10. Do I even have the energy to look into what Pierce the Arrow is up to right now?
  11. Is Lisa Vanderpump the greatest of all time?
  12. Can someone put “I’m giving you a head’s up: there’s a war coming” and this image onto a t-shirt for me?


  13. Who is going to post the bail?!?
  14. Does Tom Schwartz work a ring on a string callback into the proposal?
  15. Where did Stassi get this adorable powder blue mini backpack?


  16. Wait, is that a purse? 
  17. Where can I find a powder blue mini backpack?
  18. WE’RE REALLY GOING TO GET A STASSI/JAX CONFRONTATION?
  19. IS THIS REAL LIFE?
  20. YOU PROMISE THIS ISN’T JUST CLEVER EDITING, BRAVO?
  21. Also, didn’t Stassi say that she quit the show?
  22. DID WE IMAGINE THAT PODCAST EPISODE?
  23. Or did Stassi fool the lot of us?
  24. Is Stassi a reality TV Jedi?
  25. Why isn't tomorrow November 2?
  26. Will someone give this show an Emmy already?

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Vanderpump Rules should be the Modern Familyof the Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program category. Come on, Emmys. Make it happen.

Image: Nicole Weingart/Bravo; Bravo (6)

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