Advice abounds on how to make sex last longer and transform a night of passion into...well, an actual full night of passion. There are countless songs about doing it 'til the break of dawn, and yet, how many of us can honestly say we always keep it going past six in the morning?
According to a recent article in The Cut, the average session between hetero folks lasts around six minutes. Interestingly, the definition of "premature ejaculation" has changed over time — where it once meant climaxing before the penis makes physical contact, it now often means climaxing before a woman has the chance to climax. Given this fact alone, it's clear that how we think sex should occur is culturally constructed and has little to do with our individual preferences. There are times when you and your partner might just want to orgasm as quickly as possible, and then there are times when you don't even want or need to orgasm. The real question should be, why are there so many rules?
If, however, you strip down sex to its most basic elements and remove all the social parameters about what should and shouldn't happen, and you still want more, then you've got a problem. But never fear, there are solutions. Here are five ways to increase the length of your sexual sessions, because there's no such thing as asking for too much (OK, maybe sometimes):
1. Stay In The Moment
If you're both obsessed with the end goal, you're going to psych yourselves out. Studies have shown that when guys have their sights set on pushing back the finish line, they often lose focus on pleasing their partners.
2. Extend Your Foreplay
The sooner you get to actual penetration, the sooner you're going to finish, so just remember to take. it. slow. It may be torturous to resist the main event, but that's part of the fun, right?
3. Keep Active
The more stamina you have, the longer you can keep it going. Conditioning isn't just for outdoor activities.
4. Try The BlewIt
This new toy was designed specifically for men to practice prolonging their pleasure and replicates the feel and force of your vaginal walls.
5. Count The Length Of Your Session From The Moment You Start To Undress
It might sound like tricky accounting, but you'll totally gain confidence from knowing that the time between the second you reach down to unzip his pants to the moment you fall back onto the bed/couch/floor in sweaty satisfaction is far longer than a measly six minutes.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises below:
Images: Tamara Alvarez/Flickr; Giphy (3)