Oh, Halloween, I love thee. Let me count the ways — you're creepy, you're spooky, you allow me to dress like a vampire or Tina Fey, and get rewarded with candy from strangers. Even though I'm not six anymore, I'm still pretty obsessed with Halloween. I mean, I can eat said candy while drinking cups of boozy, Halloween punch. If that's wrong, I don't even want to be right.
I grew up with parents who took delight in throwing massive Halloween parties every year. And I'm not talking like "OK cool, we'll just throw up an inflatable Frankenstein in the yard and toss around a few spider webs." My mom legitimately used to make my dad build tombstones with our names on them, and mow grave mounds into our front lawn. Oh, and one year, she actually painted him and glued prosthetics to his face to look like a Flying Monkey from The Wizard of Oz. #RelationshipGoals, am I right?
There are certain things that Halloween-obsessed people just intrinsically understand — like when Nov. 1 rolls around, you feel equal parts dread and sheer joy — dread because you have to wait another 364 days until Halloween, but simultaneous joy because the spooky decor and delicious candy is all 50 percent off.
Here are 10 more things that only Halloween-obsessed people understand.
1. You start planning next year's Halloween costume... the day after Halloween
It's not obsessive — it's financial planning. Colored contacts and FX makeup won't buy themselves, ya know!
2. You have (at least) one Pinterest board dedicated to all-things Halloween
I may or may not have individual ones dedicated to Halloween costumes, Halloween decorations, and Halloween party ideas.
3. Your pets have costumes, too
Here's my pup, Grits, SLAYING the pumpkin patch in his bat wings.
4. They also have Halloween-themed toys
...and they play with them all year.
5. It's not uncommon to find spider webs and fake bones around your house at any given time
And you always coveted Madame Leota's crystal ball from Disney's Haunted Mansion.
6. You can't be friends with people who haven't seen Hocus Pocus
...or Halloweentown, or The Shining, or Nightmare Before Christmas...
7. You're not much for sexy costumes
You'd much rather do something creative or funny or reeeaaallyyy creepy.
8. The scariest thing you can think of is going to a Halloween party, and seeing someone dressed up in the same costume as you
That person is dead to you. Dead.
9. You still try to find the biggest pumpkin at the pumpkin patch every single year
Because yes, this is a competition.
10. You know for a fact that Halloween is better than Christmas
And anyone who argues with you is just... wrong.
Images: Disney; Jaime Ritter; Giphy (10)