'The Muppets' Explains Kermit & Piggy's Split

There were a lot of celebrity breakups that took place over the summer: Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale; Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian; Ben Affleck and Jen Garner, just to name a few. It's like we all collectively tumbled into some sort of love forsaken vortex. But the real blow to the Hollywood couple community came when it was announced that Kermit and Miss Piggy were no longer together, thus crushing all of our beautiful childhood memories into dust. I mean, as far as muppets go, their love was epic, so to see that all come to an end was downright devastating and left all of us asking one very big question: why? Why did Kermit and Miss Piggy break up? And now, thanks to The Muppets series premiere, we finally have our answer.

So who or what can we blame for the world's greatest love getting blown to smithereens? It turns out that the culprit is Pitch Perfect's Elizabeth Banks. OK, well, not really. But that's certainly who Miss Piggy associates with that tragic event. Let me explain… you see, Kermit wanted to have the actress appear as the next guest on Up Late With Miss Piggy, however, upon even hearing her name mentioned, Piggy freaked out and demanded that he find a replacement guest.

Of course, Kermit assumed that his ex's tirade had something to do with an embarrassing screen test they'd had together during a Hunger Games audition, so he decided to override Piggy's request and invite Banks on the show after all. When Piggy finds out, she is furious, and reveals the real reason she dislikes the Hollywood star so much. The night she and Kermit broke up was the night they went to go see Pitch Perfect 2 together. Or at least, they had meant to go see the movie, however, Piggy was too busy taking selfies with fans, so they ended up missing the whole thing.

Tired of constantly trying to fight for his girlfriend's attention, Kermit tells Piggy, "I can't do this anymore." And as he walks away, Piggy looks up and sees Elizabeth Banks' face on a poster. So, yeah, I guess technically she isn't really to blame. (Which is great since I kinda love her.) But that still didn't make the reason behind this breakup any less painful to swallow. If The Muppets premiere meant to depress me, then I'd say mission accomplished.

Now, if you need me, I'll just be over here, crying in a corner with gallon of ice cream.

Images: Michael Desmond/ABC; Eric McCandless/ABC