What Women Really Think When A Man Can't Come


Have you ever thought, "WTF, why can't he finish?" There’s an expectation in our culture that men will always orgasm and that they’ll always ejaculate when they do. Well, neither of those things is true. And not only are both of those assumptions untrue, but they’re also harmful to how people interact in the bedroom. When a man can’t have an orgasm or doesn’t ejaculate, all too often his partner thinks that something is wrong. Maybe they’re not sexy enough or their partner isn't attracted to them anymore or they’re not satisfying his needs. What is really just a normal part of human sexuality turns into a problem and an issue that can all too often lead to tears and misunderstanding and ugh, who wants that?

But I totally get it. I’ve been there too, especially when I was younger. When we’re raised to think that men are always raring to go and that they’re so turned on all the time that premature ejaculation is a national joke, of course we’re going to think something is wrong the first few times we’re faced with a man who can’t come! However, as I’ve gotten older and had more experience with men and their penises I’ve learned that just like I don’t always come — or ejaculate — guys have times when they’re not going to come either. It doesn’t mean our relationship is flawed or I’m not hot enough. It just means that he’s not going to have an orgasm this time and that’s OK.

I reached out to 15 women to see what they think and do when they’re faced with an orgasmless man. Do they collapse into a pile of tears? Pull out the tiny violin and play it a funeral dirge? Shrug it off? Keep reading to find out.

1. Katie, 26

2. Elisabeth, 25

3. Claire, 22

4. Sara, 29

5. Lola, 24

6. EL, 31

7. Jen, 30

8. Theresa, 32

9. Anberlin, 23

10. Pamela, 29

11. Kirsty, 33

12. Cathy, 30

13. S, 28

14. Jess, 27

15. Ruby, 28

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Images: Giphy (15); lauren rushing/Flickr