He might not be an Oscar winner, but apparently Leonardo DiCaprio painted the Mona Lisa, one of the greatest works of all of Western history. At least, according to Fox News anchor Shepard Smith, who reported on Thursday that the 40-year old activist and Hollywood actor was the artist behind the mysterious Renaissance painting, when of course he meant to say Leonardo Da Vinci. Or did he? Was it just an airheaded flub on Shep's part? Or was he trying to tell us... the truth?
DiCaprio is himself a mystery. Who's to say that he isn't a time-traveler privy to the secrets of history, painting the enigmatic Giaconda in the early 16th century at the peak of the High Rennaisance? I'm not implying that he's the reincarnation of Da Vinci — that would be absurd. Just that he painted the mysterious woman who has become the most ubquitious painting of all time, gifted it to the other Leo, and then disappeared back into the wormhole.
Why not? In a year when civilians are on the cusp of being able to buy a ticket to Mars and creepy humanoid robots exist, does time travel seem so impossible? The future really is now. I'm not a big believer in miracles, but Leonardo DiCaprio makes me want to believe. Here's the proof that DiCaprio is not only totally under-decorated for his acting ability, but also a time-traveler who painted the Mona Lisa.
He Looks Like A Renaissance Painter
That is the face of an artiste and the hair of a vagabond.
He Definitely Has The Beard Of A Renaissance Painter
Honestly, DiCaprio's beard transcends time and space. Perhaps it's in the beard that lie his time-traveling powers, and now that it's gone, he's once again merely a man.
He Always Looks Like He Has A Secret
Just like the Mona Lisa, the 40-year-old always looks like he's hiding something, that he knows something you don't. What aren't you telling us, Leo? What great questions of our age are plaguing you? Are you burdened with the secret of time-travel? Do you want to admit you're the man in the Leo mask?
He Is A Renaissance Man
Just like the Leo that Leo was named for (that's right, DiCaprio's dad was inspired after a visit with his pregnant mom to the Uffizi Gallery in Florence), DiCaprio does it all. He acts, he writes, he produces, he is trying to save the world from global warning and save the gorillas. He's a humanitarian. He loves technology: DiCaprio drives a Tesla because of course he does. I bet he drove it all the way back in time.
He Loves The Fine Arts
DiCaprio loves Shakespeare, playing one of the greatest, moodiest dudes ever on-screen in Romeo + Juliet. If he had to come back as an actor, of course he was gonna stretch his Renaissance legs.
The Mona Lisa Has Been Stolen Tons Of Times
By Leo, traveling through time. He just wants his painting back.
He's Been Trying To Tell Us His True Identity All Along
Um HELLO, if that scene in Titanic wasn't a cry for someone to hear his message that he's the guy, then I don't know what is. "Draw me like one of your French girls," Kate Winslet says to DiCaprio. "Italian, but OK," is probably the line he was thinking, but he didn't want to go off-script. And if the final scene wasn't proof that he can time travel, then you and I interpreted Titanic very differently.
That's What The Mona Lisa Is Smiling About
Because her portrait artist was soooo dreamy.
So, maybe Shep Smith is just trying to tell us the truth, because for some reason, he's the only one on Earth who knows it. He's getting laughed at for his goof, but maybe we should be grilling DiCaprio to fess up to painting the Mona Lisa instead. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. And if he did paint the infamous, mysterious masterpiece, how nice of him not to ask for royalties.
Images: United Artists; Giphy (4)