The dynamics of female friendships are never easy, but luckily with age and experience we learn that fights all mature friends can get over actually exist. You learn to let things slide, to communicate better, and to love unconditionally. What is the point of being a Tina if your Amy isn’t talking to you because of some dumb reason?
The best part of having a mature friendship is that even small trivial fights can be solved because you are not afraid to speak your mind. Your friend will understand when they have hurt you and why. You understand what topics trigger arguments but you don’t avoid them. You GET why they are triggers, but your friendship is strong enough to withstand tension. Maturity at its finest is not tiptoeing around your friend but being yourself wholeheartedly.
I have been blessed with friends that love me for me. They understand that I can be crude and loud and opinionated, yet they don’t run for the hills. When we do fight, they are quick and resolve themselves fairly easily. We’ve learned to appreciate each other’s flaws and are friends because of them — not despite them. Below is a list of fights that I have participated in, witnessed, or read about that my friends and I can easily get over these days.
1. The “Now That You Have A Boyfriend” Fight
What used to be a fight over not getting to spend time with your friend has turned into true happiness for them. You're no longer mildly jealous! You're actually happy that your friend has a significant other that goes to town on them.
2. The “You Were A Monster After Drinking Last Night” Fight
Instead of bitching about how you had to take care of your friend when she had a meltdown after too many shots, you start to treasure these moments of chaos. You realize that someday soon, you won't be able to go out like this at all due to work and also due to not having your own reality TV show.
3. The “Stop Talking About Crossfit” Fight
Hearing about your friends incessant workouts used set you off into a fit of rage. Now you can't help but say, "You go, girl." Your friend is following her bliss and is giving you inspo to follow whatever yours is! What is not to like?
4. The “I Liked Them First” Fight
Oh, dear god. This f*cking fight. Let me tell you... once you mature enough in your friendship, romantic conquests leave the equation entirely. I will gladly back off first when my friend and I like the same guy. Why? Because people you date come and go. Friendships are for life.
5. The “You Are Always Working” Fight
This is almost the same fight as the "now that you have a boyfriend fight," except it's worse. It's irrational to be mad at your friend for wanting to succeed. It's hard enough for a working woman in this world as is — she doesn't need the added burden of your anger. Learn to love your friend's corporate drive and enjoy the perks of free booze at her work parties. Duh.
6. The “You Need To Pay For Your Own Crap” Fight
Money is the worst. Fighting over money is really the worst. She'll pay you back when she can. Don't let money ruin a friendship. IT GROWS ON TREES.
7. The “You Are Not My Mother” Fight
There is a reason why your mother is not your best friend. You can't ask your mother to buy you the morning after pill because you are too embarrassed to do it yourself. Or you can. I don't know the nature of your specific parental relationship. What I do know is that your friend should hold your hair back when you vomit, but should not baby you. You are an adult, act like one.
8. The “Stop Offending Me” Fight
When a friend accidentally said something mean to you in middle school, you would internalize it and let it haunt you for the rest of your life. Now that you are in a mature frienlationship (a term I have now coined) you can tell your friend to her face that she offended you. You'll talk it over some wine and move on. Good job!
9. The “Don’t Set Me Up” Fight
You used to get mad at your friend for always trying to set you up with someone. Am I that sad and alone? you'd ask yourself. Now, you are mature enough to ask her to tone it down, or at least stop setting you up with weirdos.
Images: The CW; Giphy (4)