16 Britney Spears Dances We All Tried To Learn

by Mary Grace Garis

Oops, she did it again? As you ease into that not-at-all dated reference, let this sink in: Britney Spears was a substitute dance teacher at a children's class over the weekend. The pop princess taught a routine to Kesha's "Timber" at the Rock It Dance Studio in California, after previously popping in for a surprise class last week. Not only is it kind of cute and... confusing, but it doesn't it throw you back to all the Britney Spears dance moves you adopted as a child?

Now, don't be coy and play dumb. We all unconsciously adopted Spears dance moves in our youth — at least if you were an impressionable teenage girl in the late '90s. If we're being candid, I broke out the "Oops!" dance routine out at my swim club's pre-teen night, and my parents, progressive as they are, were definitely concerned that I would become a bleach blonde with a pierced navel. Luckily, at age 12, I discovered Nirvana, and the rest is history.

Still, I just want to reflect on all the potential Spears dance moves that she is potentially teaching to the next generation of America's youth. So watch Spears in action below, and enjoy these 16 possible dances that all good Spears fans should incorporate into their next ballet recital.

1. The Hip, Hip, Twist

Make like Spongebob, and bring it around town.

2. The Pedal Pusher

The best way to show off your stumpy little legs and promote ab definition!

3. The Crab

Sexy and just a little bit Exorcist-y.

4. The Air Hump

There are many variants on the air hump; this one just works when you want to really put those mirrors to good use. Ready ladies? First position, second position, third position, forth position, fifth position, and now the sky!

5. The Python

How else will you put your torso to use than with some sensual wiggling?

6. The Literal Python

How else will you show up the other stage moms than with a boa constrictor?

7. The Boob Encircle

We've covered the "Toxic" boob encircle in other posts, so lord knows I can't take credit for the name. In any case, it's an essential part of any girl's list of moves.

8. Brandish That Whip

BDSM is really in with the '90s child crowd.

9. West Side Story But Everyone Forgot Their Shirt

OK, but that's actually what this dance move basically is.

10. Ride The Invisible... Horse

For girls that are really into ponies.

11. Lion Hair Flip

Step One: Rent out two lions. Step two: Seduce the audience.

12. The Semi-Nude Floor Roll

As long as you're strategic about it, I feel like there's nothing wrong with being sparkly as you roll around half-naked.

13. Chair Shimmy

I know, I know, what they're wearing is totally inappropriate. Don't worry, I think you can still pull this off without the fedoras.

14. Half Of Flashdance

What makes this half is the fact that you're actually wearing a bra. Oh, and the lack of water, because that would be a little much, you know?

15. Literally Jumping On The Bed In Your Underwear

Alright, this is just a scene from Crossroads, but incidentally it's something I do remember kind of doing to Britney music... in the safety of my own room, of course.

16. And Then There's This

... yeah, on second thought, maybe we should just leave dance instructing to the professionals.

Images: Giphy (16)