Butt-Shaped Lamps Only Turn On If You Spank Them

You have most likely gone through life never knowing that butt-shapped lamps exist. Well, I am here to burst your little bubble and tell you that not only do they exist, but you can own one! The product is called the “Slap It” and you might have already guessed how to use it by the very direct product title. The lamp looks like a Jeffrey Dahmer pleaser — a standalone butt, lacking any attached limbs or a torso. Made of what appears to be silicone, the Slap It turns into a nightlight if you touch, pinch, squeeze or slap it. Finally something fun for the whole family.

Looking back at the history of lamps, I cannot help but wonder what brought on the creation of such an object. Lava Lamps were cool as hell and are the perfect '90s kid collector's item. The Clapper made life easier, had a catchy jingle and was even featured in Bruce Almighty. But what exactly does the Slap It do for mankind? I think I have figured it out. It’s a conversation piece.

With the prevalence of social media these days, face to face conversations are rare. You need all the help that you can get when it comes to talking about things IRL. And what better product to get the words flowing than a butt-shaped lamp you had to smack to turn on? (Answer: Nothing.) So sit back and relax. Below are some of the conversations you will be having once you’ve purchased the Slap It.

The “What Is That?” Conversation

Don't try to hide it. Or deny it. You will be asked what Slap It is and you will just have to calmly explain that it is a lamp that you have to caress in order to use it.

The “Why Are You Groping A Silicone Ass?” Conversation

The next conversation will be about the technicalities of your relationship with your Slap It. Again, do not deny it. Just explain calmly that it is a lamp that you have to caress in order to use it.

The “Are You Really That Into Slapping Butts?” Conversation

This one is more tricky. You might be co-president of your local chapter of Butt Slappers Anonymous. Does that automatically mean you have to divulge your whole life truth? You do you, ass tapper.

The “Is This A Prank? Am I On Camera Right Now?” Conversation

Have fun with this one. If your friends think you have the ability to put them on a reality television show, good for them. It's best to lie in this situation and see what they will do with the added pressure of performing for an audience. You just sit back and watch it unfold.

Images: Instagram/SlapItLight (5)