'Bachelor' Stars Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici are All For Onesie

Living Kewpie dolls and part-time wedding cake topper models, Bachelor star Sean Lowe and his fiancé Catherine Giudici are having a total blast this holiday season. Not only are they trimming trees and kissing under mistletoe balls, they're also going all for onesies and onesies for all. Oh well gee golly gosh and willikers, you guys! They're just so cute and goofy, don'tcha think? I mean, of course they are: their love is pure and real and sacrosanct given that is blossomed on national television (ABC), the only place where it's real. And so the duo showed off their love with red and green coordinating onesie pajamas and — oh my gosh, wait. Are those... is that....? Holy cannoli, you guys! Candy-cane striped mustaches! Holy matcherz! How cool! Somebody actually sat down and said, "you know what makes facial hair more palatable? Turning it into candy!" as if anyone would even imagine such a curious world. A world where things are candy-coated and colored in a wide array of stripes? How subversive! How edgy! How wild.

And it's about time: because the aww-shucksy brigade has had their interpretations of wild and crazy antics pushed to the wayside for far too long. They can be just as cool and hip and with it as the rest of you heathens! Their soon-to-be-wedded bliss is forever because onesies.

They can get out of control and go crazy: why, just look at this video of Sean busting some seriously provocative dance moves in a... (wait for it) moving vehicle! I mean, hello! And there's even one of Catherine's "gangster" moves, where she screams "yeah boy!" and "my homies!" while her toy penguin breakdances to a back-beated "Santa Baby." Talk about a moving violation! It's amazing what a little canned chastity (Sorry, "born-again virginity") and Disney-influenced sensibilities will do to a person.

Image: Catherine Giudici/Instagram