Functional fashion is perfectly acceptable. But a pizza necklace? Like a necklace that allows you to carry around a slice so you can satisfy the onset of hunger? It's an accessory and storage? Well, that's a bit ridiculous. Unless, of course you plan to be lost in the woods, with no food for miles, and are pretty certain you will be struck by a hankering for a slice.
Stupid Idiotic is offering a triangle-shaped pizza pouch for just eight bucks. You wear it around your neck and always have pizza at hand. It reminds me of a VIP laminate to a sporting or concert event, only pizza-shaped.
The product description notes that "no one should ever be without pizza." I am not going to argue that point. Pizza is delicious. It's quick. There's a pizza joint on every corner in NYC and most suburbs are teeming with parlors. So it's not often that I ever legit worry about being pizza-less.
However, for those tragic cases when pizza is actually MIA, the Pouch answers the call.
You can "keep and carry a backup slice with this specially designed Pizza Pouch. A durable zip-lock sealing neck-strap pie slice device. Always fresh and ready."
And yeah, I'm still not sold, even if the product makers do suggest that "wearing this Pizza Pouch will instantly make you more popular and attractive. It's a bold (and delicious) fashion statement."
But if you are a pizza fiend and love the look and shape of a pie as much as you love the delish taste, there are other more stylish pizza necklace options. They're not functional, no. Therefore, the Pizza Pouch has a leg up on 'em. But they are cute! These options crafted by Etsy artisans are amazeballs.
1. Grab A Gold Slice
This adorable gold charm necklace lets you indulge your pizza passion sans the calories. Plus, you can share it with friends! ($100, etsy.com)
2. Pizza BFFs
If you like the kitschy element of the Pizza Pouch, this heart-shaped, pizza-themed take on the BFF heart necklace is darling! It legit resembles a pie. One slice for you, one slice for your BFF! ($30, etsy.com)
3. Simple Pizza
If a simple slice is all you crave, this silver charm necklace is all you. ($27, etsy.com)
4. Cerebral Pizza
If you prefer to show your love of pizza in a more cerebral, less obvious way, you can with this block letter necklace, which blatantly spells out your love. ($5, etsy.com)
5. For Pepperoni Lovers
Check out the detail on this slice! Is your mouth watering yet, pepperoni lovers? ($13.50, etsy.com)
6. Pizza Pun
If puns are your thing, well, this pizza necklace option answers the call. ($30, etsy.com)
If you aren't down with a Pizza Pouch, you can still proudly display your love for pizza.
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Images: Stupid Idiotic (1); Etsy (6)