Life

How To Choose The Best Sex Toy For You

by Michelle Toglia

There's no doubt sex toys for women are much more widely accepted today and than they were in 1993 when Claire Cavanah co-founded Babeland in Seattle. With a mission of getting vibrators on every bedside table and taking the shame out of sex, Cavanah tells Bustle her goal for her feminist sex toy shop seemed far-fetched 22 years ago. "It was sort of like putting a man on the moon for JFK," she says. So what's responsible for the sex toy landscape changing?

For one, there are some game-changing TV shows and movies to thank for bringing sex toys into public conversation. Cavanah says Slums Of Beverly Hills and Fifty Shades of Grey contributed to taking the shame out of sex toys and exploration in the bedroom. And of course, who could forget Sex and the City's impact with the rabbit? "It was the first toy that shows where women like stimulation," she says. She not only saw boost in sales of rabbit vibes during the Sex and the City craze (it's still a popular toy), but she noticed a change in how women were shopping for toys at her iconic shop, too — they starting coming in with friends. But, as Cavanah points out, there's so much more work to be done in getting women what they need to have an orgasm.

"Vibrators kind of level the playing field for women in the bedroom," Cavanah says, "A lot of women really need the consistent stimulation on their clitoris to have same experience as men have." And, with the popularity of couples' sex toys now — she says the We Vibe is bestseller at Babeland — it seems like a lot of partners taking note of that.

So, how do you go about choosing a toy for couples' play or masturbation? Cavanah says to ask yourself a few questions first: Are you going to use it outside or inside? Both? What do you know about your body? What turns you on? What type of aesthetic do you want? Look? Color? "Find something that intrigues you," she says.

Cavanah joined us on this week's episode of Bustle's Sex and Relationships podcast "I Want It That Way," to tell us all about Babeland and how to choose the perfect sex toy for you and your partner. Take a listen and check out the new products she brought us below:

1. The Magic Wand

Magic Wand, $60, Babeland

The newest version of the classic sex toy (that started out as a back massager!), has some awesome new features. With four speeds and five patterns, it's both re-chargeable and stronger than the original. "It's probably brought more women to orgasm more than anything else," says Cavanah.

Good For: Masturbation; partnered sex for two women

2. Eva

Eva, $105, Babeland

Like the mega popular We Vibe, The Eva, which is designed by two women in Brooklyn, is a hands-free vibrator that will stay situated on the clit during penetration. Win-win.

Good For: Masturbation; sex with a partner

3. OhMiBod blueMotion Remote Vibrator

OhMiBod blueMotion Remote Vibrator, $129, Babeland

"There's this fear that sex toys are making people less into each other, that they're too mechanical etc, but they actually improve sex, make people want to be with each other, and can connect you over long distances," she says.

The OhMiBod is the perfect example of that: You slip the small (but strong) clitoral vibrator into your underwear and your partner can control it via an app from anywhere.

Good For: Long-distance relationships; sex in public

4. Ooh What Happens in Vegas Set

Ooh What Happens in Vegas Set, $70, Babeland

This mix and match set comes with a strong, reliable motor and different configurations to attach whenever you please: a vibrator, cock ring, and pebble. The beauty with this set is that you don't have to choose between different shapes — in one kit you can get several.

Good For: Couples; a first luxury vibrator since it's so versatile

5. The Womanizer

Womanizer, $189, Babeland

"It is unlike any other handheld sex toy," Cavanah says of The Womanizer, which mimics a sucking motion when you put it over the clitoris. "It's not a vibrator per se, it pulsates rather than vibrates," she says.

Good For: Masturbation; oral sex lovers; women who have trouble orgasming through oral sex

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Watch Bustle staffers try to guess the meaning of five sex toys:

Images: Kenny Suleimanagich/Bustle