A wise philosopher once said, “The meaning of life is to live vicariously through Sim versions of your favorite TV shows.” That wise philosopher was me. Every now and again, a television program will inspire me to snap open my The Sims 3 CD-ROM case, crack my knuckles, and dive into the Build Mode rabbit hole. I’ve created several Sim households inspired by reality TV shows. There was the Sim The Real World: New Orleans house. There was the Sim The Jersey Shore Sim house. There was the Sim Big Brother 17 house. But now, I’ve ventured into new territory: the Sim scripted series. I have created a Sim household that is loosely based on Scream Queens.
Right out the gate, you'll notice I took a lot of creative liberties. Now, this isn't because I do not take this endeavor seriously. Rest assured, I take this endeavor extremely seriously. I took all of the creative liberties out of necessity. I wish I could give the Sim Red Devil a pair of horns, but The Sims 3 did not give me that option (don't worry, I came up with a gorgeous solution). No, Sim Hester doesn't have a neck brace, but again, that is because The Sims 3 didn't give me that option. Is The Sims Scream Queens a shot-for-shot remake of the Fox television series? Nope. Not even close. I was not about to spend one billion hours of my life on each episode. I love playing The Sims, but both the game and I have our limits.
If a horn-less Sim Red Devil or a murder-less reimagining of the Chanel #2 murder scene are deal breakers, then I guess this is where you and I go our separate ways. If you're still on board, HOORAY! Let us not waste another moment! Let the first episode of The Sims Scream Queens begin!
Welcome To The Sim Kappa Kappa Tau House!
(Full disclosure: I didn't build this from scratch. I'm not that good. I made some tweaks to a preexisting house. I hope that isn't too shameful a cop out.)
Sim Chanel, The New President Of Sim Kappa Kappa Tau, Admired Her Kingdom
The school year had begun. Her school year. She would run Kappa Kappa Tau with a pastel fist, Dean Munsch be damned.
Sim Chanels 2, 3, & 5 Told Sim Chanel That Dean Munsch Had A New Rule
The rule: Kappa Kappa Tau must let anyone rush.
The Sim Chanels Were None Too Pleased With This News
So, they cracked open every sorority law book they could find. There must be a loophole in here somewhere.
Sim Grace, Sim Zayday, & Sim Hester Prepared To Rush
They couldn't wait to find out what ~kewl stuff~ Sim Kappa Kappa Tau had in store.
Sim Hester Was Ready To Win
Win what, exactly? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Sim Grace & Sim Zayday Planned Their Kappa Kappa Tau Takeover
They wanted to make Sim Kappa Kappa Tau a better place, dangit!
Sim Chanel Assured Herself That If She Made The Rushes Drink Grimy H2O, They'd Give Up
"Some day-old bathwater should do the trick."
Sim Grace Stumbled Upon A Mysterious Set Of Stairs
What are these stairs all about? What's on the third floor?
Sim Chanel Told Sim Grace To Never Go Near That Flight Of Stairs
She suggested Sim Grace pretend like those stairs don't exist.
So, What's On The Third Floor Of The Sim Kappa Kappa Tau House?
Um, who is that peeking out the window?
It's The Sim Red Devil, Of Course!
The third floor just so happens to be the Sim Red Devil's lair.
The Sim Red Devil Can Really Rock A Bucket Hat, Eh?
Isn't he handsome?
The Sim Red Devil Plotted Something Evil
The Sim Red Devil Walked Up To A Baby
The women standing next to the baby didn't seem to notice the bucket hat-wearing weirdo. Or maybe they just didn't care?
The Sim Red Devil Stole Candy From The Baby
Ice cold, Sim Red Devil. You're even more devious than I realized.
Meanwhile, Some Of The Sim Sorority Sisters Enjoyed A Meal Of Wilted Salad
When Sim Chanel #2 finished her horrendous looking dinner, she decided it was time to get ready for bed.
But Before Sim Chanel #2 Could Floss Her Gums & Exfoliate Her Pores, She Received A Text Message
The message read: "So you want to Sim dance with the Sim Devil?"
The Sim Red Devil Burst Into The Room
Sim Chanel #2 was frozen with fear.
The Sim Red Devil Told Sim Chanel #2 He Was Here To Annoy Her
Understandably, Sim Chanel #2 didn't take this news very well.
Sim Chanel #2 Told The Sim Red Devil He's An Evil Guy
The Sim Red Devil was like, "An evil guy who loves a good bucket hat, that is!"
The Sim Red Devil Let Sim Chanel Know He Had To Pee
Sim Chanel #2 froze in place again. The situation was getting to be too much.
Sim Chanel #2 Tried To Tweet That The Sim Red Devil Was About To Pee
Alas, every time she started to draft the tweet, the Sim Red Devil hit the DELETE key.
The Sim Red Devil Told Sim Chanel #2 That The Pee Was Going To Happen & There Wasn't Anything She Could Do
There was no escaping the inevitable.
The Sim Red Devil Peed His Pants
He is a Sim of his word.
Sim Chanel #2 Finally Sent The Tweet
And then, both the Sim Red Devil and Sim Chanel #2 vanished into thin air.
Sim Chanel, Sim Chanel #3, & Sim Chanel #5 Walked Into The Bedroom & Found A Disturbing Scene
What happened to Sim Chanel #2? No one knew. The only clue was a mysterious puddle of urine.
Sim Hester Had An Idea: "Use Kitty Litter To Sop Up The Mess"
Everyone was disgusted by this suggestion.
Meanwhile, Sim Grace Broke Sim Chanel's Rule
What did Sim Grace find on the third floor? TO BE CONTINUED.
Images: The Sims 3/EA Games (29); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (29)