Guys Talk About How To Know When They're Ghosting

Ahh, ghosting. It's become the official breakup tactic of this generation. You may also recognize it from its other names like "Irish Exit," "Secret Bounce," or "Slow Fade" — but it all means the same thing: someone just flat out disappeared from your life without any warning. But how do you know when someone is ghosting you? You may have seen the signs, but getting ghosted can be a mystifying experience. 

It often happens because this person wants to end the relationship and doesn't have the balls to tell you to your face. Or, it happens because sometimes it's just the best way to end the relationship, and he or she feels the fade out is appropriate. And let's face it, depending on the circumstance, sometimes it's absolutely OK to ghost someone

If I'm being totally honest, I've ghosted people myself. And while I certainly don't want to brag about it, I also don't feel too guilty about it because, if it's only been a few dates, that doesn't necessarily warrant an official break up talk. And a few unanswered texts should give the hint without having to be too brutal. 

Speaking of brutal, I asked several guys what they do when they are trying to ghost someone. Odds are, if you've dated anyone in 2015, you've experienced these methods firsthand.

1. *John, 36

I usually just stop initiating the outreach. When I'm into someone, I'm texting pretty non-stop, but if I stop initiating, it's because I'm fading you out.

2. *Chris, 26

I just don't show up to a date. Wow, thank God this is anonymous.

3. *Brett, 29

Silence is deadly. And it also means I'm ghosting you.

4. *Andy, 34

I stop answering any communication as quickly, I try to do it gradually so it's not very obvious. Then I just add in more time between dates. Before you know it, it just takes care of itself.

5. *Dave, 33

If you booty call me, and I don't answer. That's a pretty sure-fire sign I'm fading you out.

6. *Joe, 25

If at any point during a conversation, you say something sexual or flirty, and I respond with something about my mother.

7. *Ben, 28

It's all about the text behavior. Like when a girl texts me and I don't respond until the next day, and it's usually a one word answer. Or I just don't respond at all.

8. *Sean, 32

Depends how long we've been going out. Like if it hasn't been too long, I'll just cancel plans, and never attempt to reschedule them. Ever.

9. *Connor, 29

I like to pull the whole "work is crazy right now" thing.

10. *Adam, 27

I will intentionally delay responding to texts for like hours and hours and just not come up with an excuse for the delay.

11. *Grant, 38

I try not to go full ghost, but let's just say I use a variety of tactics to make it very, VERY easy for even the dimmest person to recognize I'm over it.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.

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