In today's edition of Celebrity News Stories I Never Thought I Would Write, Jeremy Bieber commented on Justin Bieber's penis. And yes, it's just as creepy as it sounds — and maybe even creepier. After sleazily taken paparazzi shots of Justin Bieber swimming naked in Bora Bora made their way across the Internet on Wednesday, the singer's legal team sent a cease-and-desist letter to the New York Daily News, demanding that the Daily News' exclusive photos of the Biebs' junk be taken down and threatening to sue if they're not. Though he has yet to make a statement regarding the nude pictures, Bieber had a pretty strong reaction himself, favoriting a Chrissy Teigen tweet that read: "No one is ever disgusted by the pig who preys on, photographs and sells pictures of someone naked. Just the celebrity for being naked. Ok." #PREACH.
But it was Bieber's dad, however, who had a response that was basically like one creepy-ass "What Do You Peen?" joke — which pretty much fits right in with the rest of the Internet's reaction to Bieber's gross invasion of privacy. Taking to Twitter on Friday, Oct. 9, the elder Bieber tweeted his son a metaphorical slap-on-the-back for being so well-endowed:
Fortunately for my faith in humanity, this super bizarre tweet was met with some serious side-eye:
Because not only is it mega creepy to comment on your son's junk in front of the entire world, but by doing so, it takes away from the gravity of the situation and the fact that his son was a victim of an enormous violation of privacy. Of course, it's also important to note TMZ's claims that Bieber — though initially angry and upset by the violation — was "happy" when the pictures went viral because of his, well, endowment. And for a 21-year-old guy who is constantly taunted and seemingly emasculated by the world, I can see how having something like this go viral would make him feel vindicated.
That all being said, this is a serious and truly disgusting violation of Bieber's privacy and I don't think that should be discounted or swept under the rug just because the singer's packin'. I seriously doubt that any female celebrity who has had naked pictures published without her permission — whether that be Kate Middleton or Jennifer Lawrence or any woman affected by the celeb nude photo leak — would all of a sudden change her tune just because her breasts were big. I understand if Jeremy Bieber is just trying to deflect the situation with a little humor, but the overly macho, "heh, heh, it's all OK because my son has a big d*ck and I'm going to pretend like I had any part in that" message somehow makes it seem acceptable that Bieber's privacy was violated, when it is so obviously not.
It's gross. It's unnecessary. And for the love of God, no Belieber in this world needs a tweet from Papa Bieber talking about how much of a "#proud dad" he is because of his son's junk. Shut it down.