While the month of October might be spent planning that terrifyingly cool costume and setting up spooky decorations around your home in preparation for Halloween, that doesn't mean you can't have a little fun making fun of the holiday in the process. These 12 funny Halloween quotes are sure to put a smile on your face this holiday season, and since nothing can beat a good laugh, you're going to want to take the five minutes to read through each and every one of these. (And check out the ridiculous animal gifs that are sprinkled throughout for good measure.)
The idea behind how American children spend their Halloween is pretty ridiculous after all... dressing up like goblins and princesses to then knock on strangers' doors demanding candy. Yeah, take a second to really stop and give that some thought. It's funny. It really is.
Whether you love the holiday, hate the holiday, or fall anywhere in between, you have to admit there are some things about Oct. 31 that are just plain nonsensical. So now that we're in accordance about Halloween's silly traditions, go ahead and have a laugh at it. From Conan O'Brien to Drew Carey, these funny people have some very funny things to say. Enjoy!
1. "This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him." — Conan O’Brien
2. "I hate Halloween. I hate dressing up. I hate — I wear wigs, makeup, costumes every day. Halloween is like, my least favorite holiday." — Amy Poehler
3. "If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween." — Douglas Coupland
4. "There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world." — Jean Baudrillard
5. "When I was a kid, Halloween was strictly a starchy-vegetable-only holiday, with pumpkins and Indian corn on the front stoop; there was nothing electric, nothing inflatable, nothing with latex membranes or strobes." — Susan Orlean
6. "The great thing about candy is that it can't be spoiled by the adult world. Candy is innocent. And all Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween." — Rosecrans Baldwin
7. "On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me." — Rodney Dangerfield
8. "The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over." — Lewis Black
9. "In Britain, the major public holiday used to be Guy Fawkes Day... that was celebrated on November 5th with things like bonfires and fireworks... I think that made Halloween seem preferable. The idea of having pumpkins and costumes and parties seemed much more appealing than burning down your neighborhood." — Lisa Morton
10. "I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?’" — Drew Carey
11. "Every Halloween for six years, I was a Ninja Turtle, and Mikey was my favorite. The turtles really made me who I am today. They got me into martial arts, meditation, surfing, skateboarding; big time influence on who I am today." — Greg Cipes
12. "I don't know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids." — Robert Brault