5 Things Far More Blasphemous Than Britney's "Fake" Abs in Vegas 'Piece of Me' Debut
Apparently everyone is in a tizzy because Britney Spears may or may not have had some painted-on abs at her Las Vegas debut. Well, for starters, even if that's true...who cares? IT'S VEGAS, PEOPLE. Secondly, if you're going to dance around in some classic Britney midriff-bearing ensembles, well, of course makeup will be used. And then there's all of those big heavy lights casting weird shadows. And again...so what? IT'S BRITNEY, BITCH. She's just trying to give every audience member a great show, and that means rock hard abs for everyone from the front to the back rows.
When people aren't nitpicking Brit for her abs or lip syncing, it's good to notice that the reviews for her Vegas show have actually been pretty solid. Britney Spears: Piece of Me is a two-year, 100-show Vegas resicency at Planet Hollywood that has everything you'd expect in a mega Sin City spectacle. Fountains, pyrotechnics, and glitter. So, so much glitter. Whether you're a fan of Britney or not, it's hard to deny just how much work goes into every moment of this 90-minute extravaganza.
Whether the abs are real, or painted on, or the work of some light-and-shadow sorcery, let's all remember that we're talking about Las Vegas, here. If we were talking about Michelle Obama painting on her toned arms, then okay, we'd have a real problem on our hands. C'mon everyone, there are way WAY more blasphemous things going on in Vegas:
1. The Eiffel Tower
GUESS WHAT? THE ONE IN VEGAS...IT'S NOT THE REAL ONE. AND NEITHER ARE THE EGYPTIAN PYRAMIDS!!!!!
2. Buffet Prices
I was told these were a deal! BLASPHEMY.
3. These guys aren't everywhere:
I came to Vegas expecting a handsome heist! Now give me a handsome heist!
4. The pizza in New York New York
is NOTHING like actual pizza in New York. LIES.
5. Oh and you'll probably go home broke
I'd rather spend the money on a Britney ticket, ab controversy and all, than lose hundreds or hundreds of thousands of dollars gambling.