Our bathrooms are where we do everything that we’re not allowed to do in public: get naked, pee, poop, blow our noses, fart, and, yeah, have sex. They’re also the places where we do the things that we probably don’t want our lovers to see. Like, we’d all like to pretend that we fart lilacs and sh*t roses, but spicy hot chicken wings are a reality, my friends, and what comes later is definitely not lilacs and roses. As a result, there can be some pretty nasty adjustments when we start living with those lovers and discover that — surprise! — they don’t poop roses either. I’m actually one of the lucky ones when it comes to sharing a bathroom with a partner. I grew up with five brothers, so I’d been through all of the disgusting things that come with sharing a bathroom, times a million, before I ever moved in with a boyfriend.
After years of pee-splattered toilets (And floors. And walls?) and the funkiest, smelliest towels on earth, there wasn’t much that my first live-in boyfriend could do to gross me out. However, even I can still get the ews occasionally, which tells me that it’s probably a million times worse for normal people who didn’t grow up in a frat house for children. Here are the top seven grossest things about getting use to sharing a bathroom.
1. When Your Partner Forgets To Flush
Especially after that first morning trip to the bathroom. Things can get funky, my friend, and sometimes your love might forget to flush it down. The best thing to do? Just look away, flush it yourself, and pretend it didn’t happen.
2. Different Towel Hygiene Standards
Maybe you think towels should be washed once a week but your partner is more in the “don’t wash it until it’s literally growing things” camp. You may have to battle it out about this one — or just take the towels and wash them yourself.
3. Bloody Phlegm In The Sink
Look, sometimes the sink doesn’t wash everything down. This is another shrug and do it yourself moment. It’s kinda gross but, you know, not the end of the world.
4. Poo Smell
Get some scented candles. Poop happens and it’s stinky. Nothing a few burned matches can’t fix.
5. Pee Splatter
Some dudes just never learn how to pee in the toilet or they do but they splatter everywhere and then don’t wipe it up. If your lover is of the penis-having persuasion and can’t get a hang of this, just make sure it’s their job to clean the bathroom!
6. Stray Hairs
Pubes. Hair trimmings. Shaved off bits. It’s not cute — but it’ll be in your bathroom.
7. Clogged Shower Drains
Clogged shower drains are the one bathroom thing that grosses me out so hard. Unfortunately, I have long hair so it falls on me to do the cleaning of this part of the bathroom. Own your own nastiness!
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