It's easy to complain. It's easy to vent, to whine, to frown, to point blame and to be on the defense. It's easy to distract yourself, numb your feelings, deflect them, detain them, deter them. It's a lot harder to stop, take a moment, look at yourself and observe the ways in which you are a part of your own unhappiness. But sometimes, that's exactly what's necessary.
When you harbor a disconnect between your conscious and subconscious, you keep yourself from healing. Every day you live in denial of yourself is another day you you keep yourself from finding happiness. And though it might be easy to conceive the thought that ignorance is bliss, ignorance is really just something in the way of it.
We are so much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. We alone have the power to enrich our lives and fill them with happiness. It's OK to feel happy as a result of things out of your control, but the most fulfilling happiness is the kind that comes from your own heart. You can't keep what's not yours. So learning how to build your own happy place is the safest shelter from sadness you'll ever find. Saying goodbye to things that make you unhappy is no easy feat, but it's entirely necessary to move forward. And once you cut them out, you'll feel a huge weight lifted.
So when that heavy feeling rolls in and you become aware of how far you've drifted from happiness, you know it's time for a tune-up. Here are eight ways to take responsibility for the things in your life that you're unhappy with.
Self awareness is deeply important in finding happiness. Take the time to check in with yourself and really ask yourself how you feel, when it started, what triggers it and how it feels.
What's serving you?
Putting things into a positive lens is important when you're feeling low. Take a look at your life and push the things that do serve you into the spotlight. Try to focus on why they make you happy and then let go of the things that are not serving you.
Why isn't it making you happy?
Now that you've figured out what isn't serving you, take note of why they did not work for you. Learn from your mistakes and do your best to find closure before you let anything go.
Take the blame
You are responsible for your own happiness, so take the blame. It's no one's fault but your own. Pointing the finger inward is more freeing than you might think.
Let go of expectations, hold on to aspirations
Free up some room for optimism. Let go of the notion that anything that has the power to make you happy is owed to you. You should always aspire to great things but don't ever think that you're entitled to them.
What excites you?
Do some reading. What excites you? What types of stories speak to you? What kind of characters are you drawn to? Try to find something that increases your pulse and go after it. Finding new pleasures can be very rewarding.
Playing sports make you happy but you don't have a team to join? Start a team. Painting fulfills you but you don't have anything to paint? Join a painting class. You're no longer passionate about your job? Time to leave.
Happiness doesn't disappear over night, so don't expect it to return by morning. It's going to take time to change the tune to your life. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling and just be patient. Taking the first step of owning responsibility for your dissatisfaction is important and something to be proud of. The rest will follow.