7 Emoji You Should Never Use While Sexting
Like I've said before, sexting is a hot, fun way to express your sexual desires, and can definitely be supplemented by Apple's gift to millennials: the emoji keyboard. So it should come as no surprise that sexting with emoji is something we do. Even though there's no designated sex emoji, there are plenty of ways to get creative with different emoji combos. But I think it's time to talk about the emoji you should not use while sexting.
To put it bluntly: Not everything can be sexy. The little salsa dancer? Yes, she's hot AF (and she knows it). The seductive, parted lips? Yep, you bet. But if you're looking to get creative with your sexts, sometimes it takes some thinking outside the box, which can inevitably lead to some strange results. You might think that using the "soon" emoji will be hilarious when your partner asks if you're close to orgasm, but chances are they'll just look at their phone like...WTF? Not to worry, though: Emoji sexting is fairly uncharted territory, and I'd like to act as your unofficial guide to sexting no-no's.
Here are seven emoji you should avoid using at all costs while sexting — hopefully you wouldn't even have considered them to begin with, but hey, I'm just here to help in any way I can.
First and foremost, there should be zero allusions to death in any sexting convo. I would hope that this would never even come up in the first place, but after that weird AF Scream Queens cemetery scene with Chad and Hester, you never know. Plus Halloween is approaching, so I just wanted to be extra certain that no digital necromancy is going on. Moving on.
Yes, it's adorable, but it's not exactly the emoji of choice for when you want to ooze sexuality, particularly when you're discussing anal. (Unless you're talking specifically about a brown shower fetish — aka you like to poop/be pooped on — in which case you should go for it.)
Yeah, this particular emoji kind of looks like a penis. But if you choose emoji as your language of love, there are two much better, more phallic options: the always-arousing eggplant and the half-peeled banana. Something about corn just seems...wrong for this kind of interaction, IMHO.
You might call your S.O. "baby" between the sheets, but this emoji is a bad omen if I've ever seen one. There's nothing remotely sexy about that bald little head — stick to typing out the word rather than resorting to this odd choice of emoji.
Yes, "apple-bottomed" might be a semi-popular way to describe someone with a curvy ass, but if you're sexting and want to allude to a woman's (or man's) assets, you should stick with the Kim K-approved, certified-booty-like emoji: the juicy peach.
Ugh, is there anything worse than someone who uses verbs like "ramming," "pounding," or "hammering" to describe intercourse? If you like it rough, more power to you, but words like "hammer" — and its corresponding emoji — have no place in the sexting world. Search your sexual thesaurus for a more creative (but less childish) action verb, please.
Despite what Lil Wayne might have you believe, a lollipop is not a sexy euphemism for "blow job." Personally, the connection between a candy popular amongst children and a very adult sexual act gives me the shivers. It might be funny to sext this emoji to see if your S.O. gets your obscure '00s rap reference, but if you actually want to turn anyone on, you're better off with the tongue + eggplant combo.
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