I interrupt your regularly scheduled programming this morning to bring you a truly mouthwatering PSA — Rainbow Bagels are officially a thing, and they are the stuff your Funfetti-filled dreams are made of. Just when you thought the pinnacle of rainbow-laced news was Lucky Charms' marshmallow-only box of magic, news of The Bagel Store's most colorful confection (and its cult following) has gone viral, alerting those of us unfortunate enough to dwell outside of a reasonable driving radius of Brooklyn, NY how mundane our a.m. eating routine truly is. But wait! I'm just getting word that Rainbow Bagels can be shipped anywhere in the United States. Since we obviously will all subsequently be blowing our budgets on this supergalactic breakfast food of the soul, let's take a closer look, shall we?
According to The Bagel Store owner and head baker Scot Rossillo — aka "The World's Premier Bagel Artist" — these sweet, swirly-twirly creations are the most popular of his 30 varieties of bagels. Varieties, mind you, which include the Pink Awareness breast cancer bagel; the Bacon, Egg, and Cheddar Cheese Bagel with applewood smoked bacon and shredded cheddar literally baked into the bread; and, my personal favorite, the for-a-limited-time-only Candy Corn Bagel. With such stellar and undoubtedly delicious options, the fact that the Rainbow Bagel is an Instagram fixture is a true testament to how tasty the one-of-a-kind creation is.
And how could they not be? They taste like Fruit Loops, look like dough balls of divinity, and — bonus! — are filled with Funfetti cream cheese. I'd be remiss not to mention that this particular version of Funfetti is Rossillo's own special recipe involving a super secret technique for preserving the integrity of the sprinkles in Funfetti cake, which he then crumbles into his shop's house-made cream cheese. Dear loved ones, listen up: I'd like to formally go on record now requesting this as my last meal.
And, well, I might just have to wait until my end days to see one of these gloriously colorful bagels, seeing as demand has exploded in recent months. In fact, hungry fans of this trippy treat form a line at The Bagel Store on weekends that stretches down the street. But, lest you weren't jealous enough of Rainbow Bagel-eating Brooklynites yet, chew on this: If you want the real deal, you'll have to put in the time — although they do ship out the Rainbow Bagels themselves, the cream cheese is not included in deliveries due to spoiling concerns. Plus, these bagels (if you can't tell simply by looking at them) are incredibly time-intensive. Rossillo can crank out 5,000 regular bagels in the same amount of time (five hours, for the curious) that it takes to craft 100 Rainbow Bagels.
No word yet on whether these beauts turn your poop green, but we'll keep you posted.
Images: Callie Timpanaro/Instagram