'Paranormal Activity: Marked Ones' Isn't As Scary As a Night at Home By Yourself. Trust.
This weekend, Paranormal Activity: Marked Ones is the only new film being released. The found-footage horror franchise created by Oren Peli will go toe-to-toe with Holiday blockbusters like The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug and Frozen, which are still banking on extended winter vacations, and Oscar contenders like The Wolf of Wall Street and American Hustle.
Even though it has tough competition, the Paranormal Activity films have garnered quite the following and will likely do well. The first raked in over $100 million and the last, Paranormal Activity 4, brought in a respectable $58 million domestically. The Marked Ones hopes to target a Latino audience as the film features a Latino-centric story and cast.
The latest installment is all about demons and possession. And if that’s not your bag, well, you can spare yourself the 15 bucks and just spend the night at home alone. Seriously, if you’ve ever lived by yourself or spent a night or heaven forbid, an entire weekend without your roommate, you know that means YOUR APARTMENT IS TOTALLY HAUNTED. Just sit in your room and listen to your apartment for about 30 minutes and you’ll be way more terrified than actually going to the movies.
Here’s what happens:
When you hear a tree branch scrape against your window
And a chill goes down your spine.
When you use the laundry in the basement of your apartment building or house. At night. By yourself.
The fear is REAL.
When your printer finally turns on an hour after you pressed the power button
When your cat’s eyes do that scary glowing thing
A totally fair reaction to the fact that Snowball is possssseeeeesssssseeeeedddd!
When your neighbor’s pipes start going
It’s the flushing sounds OF HELL.
When something falls inexplicably on to the floor
WHAT IS THIS SORCERY!?
WHEN THE HEAT TURNS ON
This. Is. The. Scariest. Moment. Of. Your. Night.
No need to see Paranormal Activity when you can just sit at home alone for free, right?
Images: Paramount; ReactionGifs