Demi Lovato Opens Up About "Father"

Demi Lovato is opening up about a complicated relationship from her past. In a new behind-the-scenes video posted on her YouTube channel, Demi Lovato talks about her "abusive" father, her mixed feelings about him after his passing two years ago, and his influence on her new song "Father." Although she didn't explain exactly what type of abuse she is referring to, she said,

I was very conflicted when he passed because he was abusive. He was mean, but he wanted to be a good person… He wasn’t capable of raising a family, and it was because of his mental illness. To know that it wasn’t fully his fault really was saddening to me, and I wanted to write about it. I wanted to process it.

Lovato's father died in 2013, which left the 23-year-old feeling unsure of how to best express her feelings about him, since she had struggled with explaining how she felt about him for so long. The lyrics of "Father" definitely speak to those conflicted and mixed feelings. She sings,

Father, I’m gonna say thank you / Even if I’m still hurt / I’m gonna say bless you / I wanna mean those words / Always wished you the best / I prayed for your peace / Even if you started this whole war in me.

Clearly, her words are powerful and thought-provoking. But it is also a great thing that the "Confident" performer is speaking up about this complicated relationship, because it shows other people in similar situations that they are not alone.

After all, not many family relationships are completely "good" or completely "bad." It is not surprising that the former Disney star has loving words to say about her father in the midst of all the pain that she discusses in her song. She clearly has some happy memories with him, as she detailed in a Twitter post last year on the one-year anniversary of his death.

But happy memories, of course, cannot completely erase the sad ones, so it makes sense that they would intertwine in a song completely dedicated to him. And it is a very positive thing that she is able to talk about it now. As mentioned before, Lovato is certainly not alone in having complex feelings about a close family member, so by opening up about her particular situation, she shows others that it is OK to have conflicting feelings about painful memories and the people that are part of them. In fact, her art actually serves as a great jumping off point for people to use when confronting these feelings themselves, whether that means opening up about them to others or just processing the emotions. Obviously, it is a difficult thing to discuss, but it's a discussion that matters.