In hetero couples, there's a lot of misconceptions and taboos around anal stimulation for men. But men have all the same nerve endings that women have that makes the area feel amazing and there's one big difference: they have a prostate. Which is even more reason to get into anal play with men.
Personally, I think it's a bit of latent homophobia that keeps guys from wanting to experiment with anal play, but I've found that even in the last few years more and more hetero guys seem to be getting on board and wanting to try. So, we need to figure out what to do. Because it's supposed to be a pretty mind-blowing for them. After all, the prostate is considered to be the male G-spot.
So... what's a prostate? And how can it give him an orgasm quickly like it does in the movies? Well, one of the methods of stimulating the male G-spot is called prostate milking. Milking. Gah. It makes my brain hurt. But there's a good chance it's effective, and probably your best bet for making him finish from prostate play. I promise, it's better than it sounds. Basically the name comes from the fact that prostate secretes fluid that is an integral part of semen— in fact, it makes up about a third of it. If you prefer, think of it as a prostate massage.
We've got a couple of options here:
1. Manual Massage
Sex and relationship coach, Charlie Glickman PhD tells sex toy company LELO: “The prostate plays two roles in men’s sexual response cycle. First, it produces a portion of the fluid that becomes semen. During arousal, the prostate starts to fill up with this fluid, which is then mixed with sperm from the testicles and fluids from the seminal vesicles to become semen.”
The first way is a manual prostate massage. According to an infographic from LELO, 71 percent of men are open to trying it, but that number should probably be higher considering prostate orgasms are 33 percent bigger than penile orgasms.
Start with inserting a finger (Always well lubed, when it comes to anything anal— more lube than you think. Just use all of the lube.).
And then, Vice explains:
"One wall of the rectum is hard, like the roof of your mouth, and the other is soft. It is a surprisingly big cavern once you get past the entrance tunnel, so navigate towards the belly button until you feel the prostate gland, which is like a small round ball on the anterior side. It feels the size and shape of an almost ripe plum, with a cleft down the middle. Gently massage each lobe with no more pressure than you would use if touching your eyeball. Avoid the sensitized central area, and instead concentrate on either side. Massage in many different directions – left, right, horizontal, vertical, spell your name, etc. If you’re in the right spot, it should only take a few minutes"
If you're feeling brave you can combine it with oral sex. If it's all feeling a little much, but you still want your guy to experience prostate pleasure, you can try #2....
2. Prostate Massager
There are loads of options for prostate massagers out there, for different level of experience. The same rules about lube apply, but if you're not really sure how to do it yourself, you or your partner can give a massager a go.
There's more information here from the folks at sex toy store LoveHoney:
So Will He Orgasm Immediately?
So a spontaneous on-the-spot orgasm? Maybe— but maybe not. But by all accounts prostate stimulation seems to be a very, very quick and pleasurable route to orgasm for most men, especially if combined with other sex acts. If you guys are feeling experiential or interested, it's definitely worth talking about it and giving it a go. Just take it slowly. And remember the lube thing? Remember the lube thing.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to make him last longer: