So in case you were unaware, actress and professional Britney Spears' sister Jamie Lynn Spears now has a country song-writing career of sorts, and birthed from that is this song, "I Got The Boy." Sung by Jana Kramer and co-written by Spears, the track is decidedly fine, and this comes from someone who is decidedly anti-Country. But then there's music video... what the hell is going on in Kramer's video for "I Got The Boy"?
To give some context, the song is about a woman coping with her first love getting married. Believe it or not, I feel that feel. I haven't gotten over any relationship I've been in... pretty much ever. So I have no qualms with the lyrics or the subject matter, per se.
But this video, what is happening in this video? Watching how much Kramer is decidedly not over her ex is a little jarring (like, idk, I never made my AIM messages with my first boyfriend into wallpaper) and there are other logistical things that warranted a deep side-eye.
And because I know you're far too busy to do all the question-asking yourself, I took it upon myself to do it for you.
1. Why Is She Sensually Stroking This Rustic-Looking Box?
More jarringly, why is it being held together by a belt like that?
2. How Come She's Chill Enough To Not Wear Pants, But Is Still Wearing Six Pounds Of Black Eyeshadow?
I just feel like there's a fine line between a ultra-casual Sunday filled with 15 episodes of The Office and 11 p.m. at the club in full Hot Girl Disguise.
3. Isn't She Worried About Getting Dirt On That Vintage Couch?
I mean, granted, those heels look pristine, but I still wouldn't want to tamper with that fine-ass upholstery. Also, how comfortable could that really be?
4. Wait, Wait... Are Those Her Old Letters From Her Ex-Boyfriend Artfully Strewn In Her Apartment?
No, no, no, that doesn't make sense.
5. Wait, Are Those Seriously Letters From Her Old Boyfriend Acting As Wall Decorations?
Please tell me this wasn't a quirky Pinterest idea gone horribly, horribly wrong.
6. Did She Just Set Up This Room For Lounging Around And Daydreaming About Her Ex-Boyfriend?
I mean, right now it really feels like she did.
7. Did Her Ex Buy Her One Of Those Faux Twist-Tie Bouquets From Michaels?
Listen, I'll vouch that those are really great for crafts, but that's kind of a weird gift for one 16-year-old to give another 16-year-old. Oh, and, why is she smelling it?
8. OK, How Is Her Prom Corsage Still In Great Condition?
Or did her ex give her a fake flower corsage, too? Really tacky, if that's the case.
9. Is This Room Empty?
Did she just rent out this empty room to run around in whimsically?
10. And Is She Wearing A Black Tulle Ballgown While Doing It?
Jesus tap-dancing Christ.
11. Is She Maybe Wearing Shorts Here?
That very marginally makes me feel better about the black eyeshadow thing.
12. Is She Seriously Going To Go Outside Into The Snow-Covered Winter In A Strapless Gown?
OK, well, good luck with your pneumonia.
13. What Does She Hope To Accomplish In This Shot?
"Oh, just rubbing myself against the window like I always do."
14. If She's So Cold, Why Doesn't She Just Put On A Sweater?
See, this is what happens when you go out in the snow wearing a ballgown.
15. How Come She Can Afford A Black Princess Gown But Not Afford To Touch Up Those Walls?
Maybe she can at least stick some of her ex-boyfriend's letters on the bare patches.
In to say the least, strange video. But I look forward to seeing what the Kramer-Spears duo does next, if only for the promise of more avant-garde decorating ideas.
Images: Jana Kramer/ YouTube (18)