Some people need alone time. In fact, some people need a lot of alone time in a relationship, too. I'm definitely one of those people. If I don't get some time when it's just me and my cookie monster onesie, watching bad TV, and living through some never-ending chips and salsa Escher cycle, I struggle. I love my friends (in fact I'm stupidly social), I stay incredibly busy, and I like dating. But I need some time that's just me and cookie monster.
Some people find it difficult to need alone time in a relationship. My last relationship fell apart partly for that reason. I hadn't realized he wanted more of my time and when I realized how much he needed, I knew I wasn't really ready to give it. But in most of my relationships, it's actually been a good thing. Two people who respect each other's autonomy and independence means that there's a lot of mutual respect, and you don't have to change your identity to fit into a couple. You don't get the resentment that grows from feeling like you've had to trade something in or give something up to be part of a couple.
Here are seven reasons girls who like to be alone are actually the best girlfriends, because we'll let you watch that stupid movie and then we'll rip your clothes off:
1. Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
If I'm around you all the time, I might forget how amazing you are. It's nothing personal. But a break means that I get to miss you a little bit, and when you're with someone who likes to be alone you both get that time to miss each other. It means you're really excited whenever you do see each other, because it feels more special.
2. We Know Ourselves
One of the best things about spending time alone is that it's a lot of quality... with you. You can't run away from your own thoughts, and you have to face who you are head-on, without distraction. It can be really, really difficult at times but it also gives you a good sense of who you are. And a grounded, self-assured partner is a great basis for a relationship. Plus, I think it's pretty sexy.
3. We Know Ourselves... Sexually
Alone time in all of the senses. Just because I like my "me" time doesn't mean it's boring. Part of the reason I like "me" time is because I fully believe an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away and I like to make some of them happen myself. But it benefits everyone, because it means I know what I like in bed and I'm open for exploring.
4. You Know We're With You For You
I have happily been single for years and years at a time. I know how to be on my own and love it. That independence, that self-containment, means that when I actually decide to go for it with someone, it's because I think they're just that great. Women who know how to be alone don't get in a relationship just for the sake of it, so if you find one who's into you, you know she really means it. Take the compliment.
5. You Get To Keep Doing All That Awesome Stuff You Love
Do you like to dungeon? Dragon? Kick the sports ball and win the points? Watch Jerry Maguire on repeat while dancing... interpretively? YAY FOR ALL OF IT! We need our time, you need your time. It means all of your favorite things can still be your favorite things, and we'll never make you feel weird about wanting the time to do it.
6. Friends Won't Get Annoyed
Not only can you do all the hobbies you did as a single person, being with someone who likes to be alone means you'll have time to see your friends. They won't feel like they've been deserted as you've disappeared into a couple. If she likes her independence chances are she likes to see her friends on her own too— without you always in tow. I know that I really value my time alone with my friends, even if I'm seeing someone. So you get to, too. Nobody's social life has to suffer.
7. We Want To Rip Your Clothes Off When We See You
Maybe this is just me. But part of not spending every minute of every day with someone means that the sex never becomes a chore or gets put on the back burner. Absence also makes the vagina grow fonder and those little breaks where we do our own thing means I am super excited to do all of the sex when I see you. All of them. Even that weird thing you like.
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