9 Ways I Know I Am In A Committed Relationship With My Makeup Collection
Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Meg, and I'm in a committed relationship with my beauty products. My boundless obsession with makeup began when I was 17, and I've basically been attracted to my makeup collection ever since. That sounds weird, doesn't it? Let me explain...
IMO, beauty has the power to transform, promote self love, and remind us of our importance. My beauty products and routines have helped give me the power to understand the full agency I have over myself as a human who has felt disempowered throughout much of their life. Beauty is a way I can express myself within a space and identity sans limitations, which is where the fond intimacy between myself and my makeup comes from.
Admittedly, I'm pretty attracted to tubes of lipstick and get turned on by certain gorgeous beauty packaging (I'm looking at you, NARS and Margiela). My makeup brings me pride, excitement, and creativity — but I used to be a bit ashamed about that. We are often taught by society that the beauty world is vain, trivial, and even body negative. And sometimes, I would agree. But it can easily be empowering and worth your while, too. Here are the some of the ways in which that I know I'm obsessed with my beauty collection.
1. I Can't Stand To Put Newly Bought Makeup Away
As soon as I buy new products, I can't ever stand the idea of leaving them out of my sight. They often clutter my desk for days, where I look at them admiringly until I finally summon up the courage to tear them from their packaging and go for the first smudge or swipe.
2. I Present My Makeup In A Very Strategic And Visible Way
I have makeshift shelves in my room made from antique boxes that I proudly present all of my beauty products on. Everything needs to be visible, with labels facing front. I despair over my inability to present everything I own due to the limited space in the boxes. And if a friend or my partner goes to take a spritz from one of my many perfume bottles, I immediately have to adjust it to make sure it's perfectly even. I don't get obsessive about any other parts of my room in such a way (which, judging by all the clothes on my floor and the used dishes on my desk, perhaps I should).
3. I Get Completely Enthralled Watching My Lipstick Emerge From Its Tube
There is nothing in this world more sexual to me than twisting open a tube of lipstick. Is it the phallic imagery? The mesmerizing pigment? The anticipation of what's to come? I don't know. All I know is that it's pure magic.
4. Beauty Packaging Turns Me On
I am a packaging junkie, and the first time I saw NARS's packaging for "Abnormal Female," I moaned for at least 20 minutes before finally tweeting the above. I am a huge appreciator of beauty packaging, and especially applaud those that look the most out of the box or like a sexy bullet. I will even tweet, share, or rant at length and IRL about the newest beauty products I've come across. Because each time I see a new gorgeous packaging concept, I have to share it with the world as though it's an artful masterpiece.
5. I Have A Very Hard Time Throwing Out Certain Beauty Packaging
Glossier is my weakness. I can never throw out its terribly adorable packaging no matter how hard I try. I also love the pink bubble wrap bags the brand sends everything in, which is not only adorable but great for storing more fragile cosmetics on the go. I can't even manage to throw away the boxes, because even they are cute.
6. I Put A Lot Of Time And Passion Into Acquiring New Products
Too many hours of my life have been spent aggressively seeking out the newest must-have beauty products, whether it be a new face mask or a limited edition lipstick. And that time is not spent in vain, I can assure you. Personally, I often get a rush when I click that sexy "Place Order" button.
When Nasty Gal collaborated with MAC, I couldn't help but clamor for one of the limited edition shades in the collection, "Gunner." I immediately took action to buy it, but a website error acted as a major roadblock in this holy quest. After over an hour of screaming at my laptop, I got on the phone with MAC for about the same amount of time. In the end, I got my lipstick, but I also got charged for my time on the phone with customer service. Honestly, I don't regret it in the slightest. That's just what you do for limited edition shades.
7. I Can't Stand Being Apart From My Makeup (Especially My Lipstick)
I use the lacy black bag that NYX sends its products in to carry every lipstick I own with me, wherever I go. Even between classes, I always have the bag stashed in my backpack for a quick touchup in the bathroom, or a complete color change if I feel so inclined. The idea of being away from my lipstick is too much to bear sometimes. You might not think I need 20 lipsticks with me at all times, but in a way, I really do.
Since I can't stand being apart from them, lending them out to anyone is tricky and near impossible. It's already a travesty whenever a top of one of my lipsticks comes loose in my bag, and the perfect product gets smashed or scratched. So it's hard for me to trust anyone else in the care of my precious products.
8. I Love Taking Photos Of My Beauty Products
These are probably the equivalent of my baby photos (not counting the many pictures I have of my pet rat, Bean). They're so pretty, aren't they?
9. I Automatically Feel Sexy And In Control Once I Swipe On My Fave Lipstick
As soon as I swipe on a lipstick I love, I feel a confident alter ego take me over (my own personal Sasha Fierce). Wearing lipstick, especially bold-colored ones, makes me feel unbelievably in control and helps me tap into the most sexy and confident version of myself. I feel completely at home in my own skin when there's blue or black pigment covering my lips.
I also love to see said pigment smear all over my partner in rushed lipstick marks when we're having sex. Or leaving lipstick marks on mugs and travel cups. My lippie helps me make my mark of being a confident person full of agency and certainty. It helps me show the world what belongs to me and where I've been (or at the very least, where my lips have been).
Images: Meg Zulch; Giphy (1)