The Most Important Kardashian News Today

WOW BREAKING NEWS GUYS. I know that you've all been awaiting the next big Kardashian krisis update with bated breath, and boy, do I have a big development for you. Huge! Insane! Earth-shattering! Kylie Jenner...got a speeding ticket in Malibu this weekend. I assume you're all covering your mouths in shock at your computers/smart phones/tablets/potatoes/whatever you're reading this one right now. A speeding ticket! A 16-year-old girl drove her way-too-expensive car really fast in Malibu and an L.A. Country Sheriff's deputy stopped her! Say wha — ?!

But seriously. It's kind of crazy that this is news. What have we become as a nation when a 16-year-old reality star's driving habits make news on, according to Google News, 105 sites and counting? What does it say that she had a member of the paparazzi trailing her so closely that they were even there to catch this moment on film? What is the deal with this world?

If you're at all interested in seeing the picture of Jenner looking all guilty as the police officer writes up her ticket, head over to TMZ or Perez Hilton or something to check out the photos. Otherwise, I don't know, go watch another episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. It's basically the same thing.