6 New Beauty Routines to Perform During a Blizzard

You don't need me to tell you that it's cold outside, oh brave souls of the Midwest and Northeast. I hope you're all safe at home with plenty of popcorn, Internet access and running water, but I'm sure you're going a little stir-crazy. You could slather on yet another clay mask — or you could pass the time with one of these freakier remedies.

1. Instead of watching Netflix, soak in a milk bath.

Cleopatra, Elizabeth I, and other beautiful powerhouses of history were huge fans of this luxurious form of relaxation. The lactic acid in milk acts as a mild exfoliant, dissolving dead skin cells. The cloudy color of the water will make you feel like a floating head. Add 1-2 cups of milk into a tub of warm water, squeeze in honey, and line up candles all around the tub. Soak as long as you want.

2. Instead of a facial mask, treat yourself to a head massage.

You don't necessarily need an extra pair of hands to relax your tight muscles — as long as you know the right moves. All it takes is a bit of oil and these Ayurvedic instructions and you'll be sending yourself to dreamland (with glowing skin, no less) in zero time.

3. Instead of Crest Whitening Strips, experiment with oil pulling.

Oil pulling is a weird folk practice that's perfect for snowed-in days when you really have nothing better to do. It involves gently swishing coconut oil between your teeth for a good 10-20 minutes, and purports to whiten teeth, kill bacteria, and freshen breath.

4. Instead of shaving, give yourself a full-body dry brushing.

That razor will definitely exfoliate your legs, but no one cares about stubble in waist-deep snow. Stimulate your skin with a vigorous dry brushing, which is another hippie remedy that requires either a body brush or a nubby washcloth. Brush your entire body, moving toward your heart and using long strokes. It stimulates lymphatic drainage, boosts circulation, and, of course, exfoliates everything.

5. Instead of a mani-pedi, make guacamole for your hands and feet.

Before you brush on a new coat of Essie's Bikini So Teeny, give your poor cracked extremities a luxurious soak in one of the fattiest fruits known to mankind. Mash up that overripe avocado with a little lemon and slather generously on hands and feet. Tie a plastic bag around each, and lounge in front of the TV for 15+ minutes.

6. Instead of having a drink, put beer in your hair and red wine on your face.

Your favorite drink from college is full of proteins and vitamins and Catherine Zeta Jones uses beer in her hair, so you know it works. Pour a can of warm beer through your hair after shampooing and leave in for 3-4 minutes. Follow with conditioner to take away any dive bar smell.

If you're lounging around with a glass of red wine, pour out a little extra and mix with equal parts green tea and plain yogurt, then add two parts honey. Spread the ruby mask thickly across your face and leave on for 10-15 minutes, letting all that resveratrol and antioxidant power sink in. Rinse — and finish off that wineglass.

Image: Martinak15/flickr