An Adele "Hello" Remix From Rick Ross Exists, So I Hope You're Happy, Whoever Asked For This

When you first heard Adele's newest song, I bet I know what you were thinking: "Man, if only Rick Ross did a remix of Adele's 'Hello,' all would be right in the world." Of course you were thinking that, because hey, it's what we were all thinking. The moment I hear perfect harmonies and heart-wrenching lyrics drifting into my brain through my ears, my immediate thought is that we gotta get Rick Ross in here, stat. So thankfully, he answered the call that I guess we must have all been putting out without realizing it? Because wait, someone must have asked for this, right? Raise your hand if you asked for this.

... OK, I don't see any arms in the air, but maybe everyone who was clamoring for Rick Ross to remix an Adele song that was less than a week old is just in the bathroom.

Or something.

OK, OK — I realize I'm being unkind. I just truly do not understand from whence this remix has come. Its provenance, if you will. And guys, as long as I'm getting all of this off my chest, it's like hardly even a remix. And I should know, because I just went through a whole ton of the best remixes of Adele songs the other day. Typically, if you're gonna re-release a song with your name on it, it should be identifiably yours — whether through a beat or a change in tempo or some mash-up type of thing, right? (I am a music expert.) The way Rick Ross did it, though, it seems to be the original song in its entirety, just with an added verse of his own devising. I mean, am I crazy? Take a look:

I mean, thank you Rick Ross, I guess? I will definitely put this somewhere safe for you, in case you ever need it again. I can't guarantee I'll listen to it everyday, or even at all in the meantime, given that it's just you talking over the original, but weren't you nice to think of me and make it!